James Packer Calls Mariah Carey His “Low Point”

Who knows what drives men to make horrible decisions regarding women in their lives. Minus pussy and a nice set of tits, naturally. But for a man like Australian billionaire James Packer, a guy who could probably have his pick of women, where does the notion that a third marriage to a twice divorced herself Mariah Carey makes sense?

Packer always seemed like a buffoon. Not exactly one of those self-made billionaires, more of an inheritance head starter. Nevertheless, when you’re in you’re 50’s, relatively handsome, and own a yacht the size of Rhode Island, you tend to have options with whom you share your bedroom. Packer chose Mariah Carey. She chose back. Carey’s not in a financial position to need a man, but if you want a man, a super rich guy who tours the world’s top elite resorts and parties isn’t too shabby.

During their relationship, Carey went to the trouble of losing a few pounds so she could look reasonably tempting squeezed into revealing travel wear as she endlessly vacationed with Packer during an extended break from touring. The magazines were packed with secret wedding plans revealed, shots of the ten million dollar engagement ring, and buckets and buckets of lies put out by Carey’s P.R. team about her perfect happiness after her divorce from Nick Cannon. Although no longer seeing Nick Cannon daily does have to make you pretty happy.

The couple seemed perfect until Packer booted Carey off his yacht in Greece. There was some kind of dustup over some kind of jealousy middle aged people are far too old for. The engagement was called off and the two have not spoken since. Though Carey engaged her attorneys to inform Packer she’d be keeping the ring and included a demand notice for $50 million for business value she claimed in losses to herself and gains to Packer in their time together. No word of how that civil matter was settled.

In his first personal interview since that split, Packer made sure to compliment Carey on being super bright, before calling the relationship a mistake he made during the low point of his personal life. If he was the woman, he could’ve cried campus rape. But this charge alone has to ding Carey in her extraordinarily sized caboose. The pro forma Hollywood post-breakup interview is supposed to include only bullshit about having crazy schedules, and how being in the limelight makes relationships difficult, and remaining great friends. Not the words “mistake” and “low point”.

Packer’s brain ought to be dissected immediately and studied to see why men with options choose high maintenance women. Why does Carey need ninety minutes and a team of four to get ready for bed and why must it be pitch black? Are you sure that’s even a vagina?

Rich and famous people should never get married. It makes no sense. Perhaps some young stupid decision the first time, but not veterans of multiple divorces again in their 40’s and 50’s. If you’re that enamored with Carey, get VIP tickets to her concerts and maybe mingle every now and then backstage. Then back to your suite with the half-your-age models who never get headaches. There’s little heroism in denying your gender archetype.

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