Nick Cannon Told Pete Davidson To Propose To Ariana Grande, Mentioned Mariah Carey

June 15, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

If you read those four names in the headline, produced a massive wet burp, and didn't click on this post for fear of full-blown blowing chunks, congrats, you passed another test. Media outlets have been lactating all over themselves following... READ MORE

Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas Is Bipolar Disorder

April 11, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Well this explains everything. The main side effect of Seroquel is weight gain. I honestly thought that we all knew Mariah Carey was clinically hilarious after she suffered her ice cream strip tease meltdown on TRL five-thousand-years ago. But... READ MORE

Mariah Carey May Have Sucked One In The Name Of Satan

February 11, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey growing up in a satanic sex cult would explain so much of her eccentric diva behavior as an adult. Only someone who used their snatch to please Satan could hate Christmas so much. Allegations are flooding in... READ MORE

Mariah Carey’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Performance Review — IN ADVANCE

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Here's my review of Mariah Carey's performance, several hours before it happens:

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Mariah Carey Hates Christmas

November 21, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey is an entitled turd. When the world makes you the face of the top grossing pagan rooted holiday here in the states you’re supposed to say thank you. 

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Mariah Carey Had Gastric Bypass and It’s All Your Fault

November 8, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The wanton and mass destruction caused by body-shamers has yet to be calculated. Imagine Stalin plus annoying cuts from opening plastic clamshell packaging from China and you have some idea.

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James Packer Calls Mariah Carey His “Low Point”

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Who knows what drives men to make horrible decisions regarding women in their lives. Minus pussy and a nice set of tits, naturally.

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Mariah Carey Pre-Positioning (VIDEO)

October 3, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If Mariah Carey were a relatively normal person, you might feel sorry for her awkward position. Which was laying across a sofa in an evening gown promoting her Christmas special. It's the first week of October, but check out... READ MORE

Mariah Carey Natural Glow

August 22, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey shows up about fifty years too late for her own quinceanera in the new issue of Paper Magazine, where she can also be seen stripped of about half her body in some strategically non-nude topless photos. Paper wanted... READ MORE