Purchased bot followers everywhere are rejoicing now that their queen Kylie Jenner is finally back on Instagram after she took a hiatus to focus on the antichrist stewing in her ovaries. But it’s probably going to be a while until Kylie the pornstar is back in action now that her not-even-able-to-legally-drink twenty-year-old body has been ripped to shreds. All because she was unknowingly mounted by her mother Kris Jenner in her sleep. Too dumb to even know she was #MeToo-ed in her own home.
For her Insta return, Kylie can be seen posing in a loose-fitting Adidas jumpsuit while lounging in what I’m assuming is a car that we’re supposed to be jealous of – and honestly I am – with her trademark irreverent expression and engorged anus lips on full display. This particular post screams “My stomach looks like someone spilled a casserole on my lap but I’ll never tell.” But my guess is that within the next month we’ll again see Kylie hitting the Insta street corners hard in tiny thongs. If medical science allows her sister Kim Kardashian can have a 24 to 39 waist to hip ratio, then surely Kylie can have her stomach lopped off and stapled back together in no time. Get that cross-stitched on a pillow for the nursery.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Backgrid USA / Pacific Coast News / Splash News / Getty Images