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Clickbait, don’t fail me now. Stormy Daniels is the go-to person for information on A) how to clean two gallons of baby oil out of your blown out twat and B) apparently which Mario Kart character corresponds to the shape of the president’s penis. It’s the latter info that’s making the rounds today, as Daniels – always one to shy away from attention – mentions in her upcoming tell-all Full Disclosure – of which an advanced copy was obtained by The Guardian – that Donald Trump’s penis looks like Toad. Meaning that the head is disproportionately large compared to the shaft. Of course, she fucked him in 2006, before his toadstool got smothered to death altogether by his trim 239-lb swimmer’s body FUPA:
It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool … I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f–ked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart. It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.
Classy gal. Trump will appreciate that Daniels added about the size of his freak dick:
[It’s] smaller than average, [but] not freakishly small.
Toad dick. Yeti pubes. Daniels’ Full Disclosure ghostwriter sadly passed away after barfing up his insides. Trump may be a genetic anomaly-dicked fat fuck pathological narcissist racist, but Stormy’s the one who fucked him.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Nintendo / MEGA / Backgrid USA