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First off, people that say they 100% unwaveringly hate all of Lana Del Rey’s music, haven’t listened to it. It’s not that bad. I mean it’s okay. Okay, it’s good. I don’t hate Lana Del Rey’s music. There. It’s my darkest secret, and if I thought more than fifteen people would click on a post about Lana Del Rey’s botched Real Housewives face, I’d be humiliated. Lana technically doesn’t have any talent, but money, blind self-absorption, and skilled producers have created music that makes me feel like a Nantucket heir doing blow off a sexy homeless alcoholic’s tits poolside at The Beverly Hills Hotel. My best self.
Anyway, Lana is releasing new music to commemorate the end of the summer, and posted a sobering makeup-free headshot to make the announcement. The “thirty-three-year-old” went in early and cheap on the plastic surgery, and it’s left her with eyes that look like they came from two separate people. Of different ethnicities. With down syndrome. But her music. It’s not that bad. Here’s the video for her new song Mariners Apartment Complex, as well as a good one – for “Young” and “Beautiful” – to convince at least one of you that she’s NOT THAT BAD.
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