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Congratulations are in order for gorgeous elitist piece of shit twelve-year-old starlets Timothée Chalamet and Lily-Rose Depp, who have swooped in at the 11th hour to win Beautiful Douche Couple 2018. They’re already terrible people separately, and now that they’ve been photographed hand-in-hand in these pap smear pics – supposedly signaling their coupling – they’re the miserable dour spoiled vortex of shittery we didn’t know we didn’t need. Seriously guys congrats on sucking so much.
I had to do a WWTDD search to remember exactly why we hate Lily-Rose Depp (turns out it’s her lobotomized Furby Q&A with Kristen Stewart – “Depp: I just listened to this podcast that compares the lives of Jane Fonda and Jean Seberg who are two people that I find so interesting. And I was just walking on the treadmill for half an hour, just learning all of this new information”) but I still have to admit that she’s super hot in that nymphomaniac botched toddler kind of way. Timothée Chalamet has been taking the acting world by storm for the past year and is equally sassy and sexy. Honestly it wasn’t until I tried to search for nudes that I realized he was a guy. True story. Not really. But could you imagine.
Tim Chal hails from Hell’s Kitchen in New York City and Lil Rose hails from Paris, France, and together their elitism rivals even that of Lena Dunham’s. Let’s make a pact to hate them forever and wish them nothing but disaster. They need some damn adversity. Starting right here. Right now.
Photo Credit: Backgrid