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One of my deepest darkest most depraved amoral blasphemous ungodly secrets us that I love Melissa McCarthy movies. I realized this a couple of months ago when my flight’s entertainment selection included both The Boss and Life of the Party. And boy was I entertained. Instant classics. I then purchased Spy for the return flight. Another classic. My point? Melissa McCarthy movies are a fucking blast. Especially if you’ve been drinking excessively on a plane. And it’s not just her. Rose Byrne? Comedic genius. And hot. Here’s a clip. (SPOILER ALERT: Your life will be changed):
Any fucking way. Astute observers will notice that none of the jokes in McCarthy movies actually reference her weight. Refreshing that in a time of incessant reclaiming-my-rolls back and forth we get a weight-free zone where McCarthy can just be a legend. The only lesson? One in humor. This is in contrast to Amy Schumer movies, in which she plays the heffalump to her own woozle. All to teach us a thing or two or something. But unfortunately life does not imitate art for McCarthy, and in the real world, reporters have referred to her as both grotesque and tremendous in size. At least according to her new chit chat with InStyle. Here’s the “grotesque” part.
Years ago I was at a press conference for either The Heat or Tammy, and somebody from a very big organization kept asking me, ‘Why do you always feel the need to be so grotesque?’ It was a huge interview with maybe 100 people in the room, and he was sneering. I said, ‘What are we talking about? I can’t answer your question because I don’t understand it.’ He goes, ‘You look sloppy, you’re not wearing any makeup, your hair is not done, you’re yelling at people.’ I was like, ‘OK, so have you ever asked this of a guy? I’m playing a character. You need to get out more if you don’t think there are real women like that.’ He goes, ‘Oh, fine, I’m aggressive, call it whatever you want. If you don’t want to answer the questions, you shouldn’t come to the panel.’ I was like, ‘I really want to answer your questions. I’m sorry I didn’t wear makeup in a part. I’m sorry I didn’t look pleasant for you. But I also don’t think you should be here writing about movies.’
“Either The Heat or Tammy.” Even McCarthy can’t tell her movies apart. And here’s the “tremendous” part:
I do remember another interview I did for Bridesmaids with somebody who later lost his job for a conversation he had on a bus with someone else. I won’t mention names, but just think about it. He kept asking, ‘Are you shocked that you actually work in this business at your tremendous size?’ He was like, ‘Oh, your tremendous size, you can actually work?’ I just remember all the blood drained out of me. I thought, ‘With my tremendous size, I could tackle you so quickly.’ There were two cameras on him, and one was on me, and he went back to that question three or four times, and I just kept talking about the script or how fun Paul Feig was. He was looking around like, ‘She’s crazy.’ When we left, their producer was horrified and said, ‘We’ll never play what he said. I’m so sorry.’ But it happens all the time, to the point where it’s fascinating because they don’t do it to men. Not to be a jerk or single him out, but when John Goodman was heavier, did anybody ever talk about his girth?
“When John Goodman was heavier, did anybody ever talk about his girth?” No never. Ever. Reporters not having boundaries or souls isn’t really the scoop of the century. In fact we might not have any takeaway from this abortion of a post. I guess. Next time you’ve had four glasses of free wine on an international flight, pop in a Melissa McCarthy movie and get ready for the ride of your damn life.
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Photo Credit: InStyle