The End of Sexy

Those of you who fantasize about sex with a Victoria’s Secret model – in other words, Men – get ready for some shrinkage. In a desperate attempt to fend off bankruptcy (gdi), the venerable Prostitution …, er, Lingerie company is punting sexy, curvy, slim, bronzed angels for … sorry, lost my train of thought.

The Board musta told Marketing to get some Edgy Women on the field, so they drafted diversity (Priyanka Chopra), tranny (Valentina Sampaio), victim/refugee (Adut Akech), and manly (Megan Rapinoe). Ballsy choices, unfortunately; if you find Rapinoe fapable that’s fine – you can also Google “misshapen oak tree” to get the same imagery. (Btw she’s racist apparently – solid background-check work, HR).

It’s a sad day for heterosexuality and identifiable femininity. What’s the line from “The Incredibles” – when everyone is sexy, no-one is sexy.

_{Story By: EgotasticSports}