Sophie Theallet Won’t Dress Melania Trump

“Dressing Melania Trump” could be the title to a reasonably good porn series. You’d pay to see if two in the pink and one in the stink could get those eyebrows to move. In the context of the latest “I cried when sexist assholes didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton” open letter, designer chick Sophie Theallet insisted she will not design evening gowns for the new First Lady. Oh, fuck. How will a billionaire’s wife find anything to wear? Get Secret Service to clear our TJ Maxx. There’s a State Dinner with the British PM in less than a week. China can threaten us with financial default and economic collapse and you’re pulling the chiffon? Impotency is not just for men anymore.

The rhetoric of racism, sexism and xenophobia unleashed by her husband’s presidential campaign are incompatible with the shared values we live by. I encourage my fellow designers to do the same. Integrity is our only true currency.

Fashion is nothing if not filled to the brim with integrity. Look at all those self-actualized little girl seamstresses in Burma. Those are happy tears. Same with the bloody hands. Happy tears. Producing dresses for rich women isn’t Doctors Without Borders. They probably wished Hillary was President too. But Trump can bomb them. 

Theallet declared she’s prepared to suffer the consequences of her public statement upon her business. It’s unclear whether Kim Kardashian or Cher or Katy Perry will pull out first as clients. Way to put skin in the game. Who’s pissed off next? Female drug cartel jefes? Will you no longer provide heroin to swing states? Let it out, ladies. The point of any decent social protest is for you to gain social points among your cocktail party peers.