Happy Mother's Day from Mr. Skin!

READ MORE

Snatched is the perfect movie for testing the nature of your relationship with your significant other. Specifically, what do you get for agreeing to see this movie? Anything less than the Leviticus trashing thing you've always talked about but... READ MORE

Eventually, the politically correct eat their own. It's the Hungry Hungry Hippos Theory of self-righteous consumption. If the process happened with any expediency, the snowflakes would melt faster than they're falling. It's not. The drifts are growing. READ MORE

Nobody looks great mostly naked at seventy. Rich men can still get laid at advanced ages by sheer artifice, but nature didn't intend old people to be sexually desirable. Lemon parties being the prime example of denying nature's structured... READ MORE

Oliver Hudson mocked his absentee bio-dad on Father’s Day by calling it Happy Abandonment Day and posting a kid picture of himself and his sister Kate Hudson and Bill Hudson who fucked Goldie Hawn at a party in 1976... READ MORE

Goldie Hawn seems constantly in motion. It may have something to do with what happens to her skin during standstill. She may slurry back into her periodic table elements. Hawn seems like a good mom who doesn’t judge her... READ MORE

It’s a matter of opinion as to who among the group of girlfriends is the one staying home on Saturday night, but I’ll randomly bet behind the one who resembles a Tim Burton stop-motion character. Goldie Hawn insisted on... READ MORE

If 81-year old Kim Novak hadn’t shown up to the Academy Awards as a presenter, looking like a villain from Joel Schumacher’s horrible Batman films and struggling to get through the script on the teleprompter, more people would probably... READ MORE

I don’t know when this page turned into some geriatric lust fetish site, but last week it was Helen Mirrens breasts, yesterday it was Kelly Ripa and her three kids(*), today it’s Goldie Hawn slipping out of her dress. ... READ MORE