Gwyneth Paltrow Warns People Not To Fuck With Her

September 25, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

One thing you can say abut Gwyneth Paltrow, she's got moxie. Or that other word for moxie, conceited. She does not lack confidence.


Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Busted Again for Unproven Claims

August 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to Gwyneth Paltrow, her Goop site and its highly questionable healthcare and lifestyle products are being persecuted because the townsfolk with pitchforks and torches simply aren't ready for leading edge thinking. 


NASA Blasts Gwyneth Paltrow, Though Not Into Space

June 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop site for women not yet under financial conservatorships is pushing $120 stickers placed on the arm designed to "rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies.” Like a tuning fork to restore the body to optimal electronic... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Out

June 19, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

After a fifteen year run of increasingly unpopular movie roles in films not opposite Robert Downey Jr. in an iron battle suit, Gwyneth Paltrow is calling it quits on acting. She's hinted that maybe she'll be working onscreen here... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow the Gathering

June 12, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow took a big steaming Goop on eager attendees as her first annual "In Goop Heath Summit" in Los Angeles this weekend. Nobody even flinched at the use of cheap puns for clearly serious medical seminars.


Gwyneth Paltrow ‘Successful And Attractive’ For Edit

June 1, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

UV victim Gwyneth Paltrow shares her harrowing experiences with fortune and fame in the latest issue of The Edit. The sixty-four-year-old isn't apologizing for the fact that most of the world wants to stuff her full of rose quartz vagina stones and throw her... READ MORE

The Gwyneth Paltrow Guide to Anal Sex

March 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you’ve been waiting to stick your dick into somebody’s ass until Gwyneth Paltrow told you how, prepare to unleash the beast. Through her website Goop, which helps rich women ease the burden of excessive disposable income, Paltrow’s second... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Surrounded By Hacks

February 17, 2017 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow's website Goop appears to have become a common online gathering area for people who nobody likes. When you're never invited to dinner or out for a drink or to otherwise leave your McMansion you gravitate towards buying... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Entering Self Parody Zone

January 4, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mocking Gwyneth Paltrow means finding those moments when she's not even trying to be horrible but the bitch leaks out. It's invariably those times when Paltrow struggles to relate to the common woman and flubs. READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Finally Getting It

November 22, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow appears to be coming to the realization that people hate her because she's a pompous elitist cunt who sells fifteen thousand dollar dildos. When you come from a family of means and have some social status, people... READ MORE



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