Bret Easton Ellis is being a jackass on twitter again

By brendon December 06, 2012 @ 1:28 PM

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‘The Hurt Locker’ was awesome, and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. To prove my point, here’s Bret Easton Ellis:

- Kathryn Bigelow would be considered a mildly interesting filmmaker if she was a man but since she’s a very hot woman she’s really overrated.
- Kathryn Bigelow: Strange Days, K-19 The Widowmaker, Blue Steel, The Hurt Locker. Are we talking about visionary filmmaking or just OK junk?

If you’re keeping score:
- Kathryn Bigelow is the Academy Award winning director of ‘the Hurt Locker’, ‘Zero Dark Thirty’, and ‘Point Fucking Break’.
- Bret Easton Ellis is a jackass.
- The New York Film Critics and National Board of Review both named ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ as Best Picture of the Year and Bigelow as Best Director this week.
- Ellis writes soft-core porn starring Lindsay Lohan (which he of course regretted).
- Bigelow is attractive and tall.
- Ellis looks like he’d jack you off at a rest stop.

Choose your side.

Matt Bomer is too gay for ’50 Shades of Grey’

By brendon August 09, 2012 @ 10:18 AM

matt_bomer_magic_mike_premiere

Matt Bomer is mostly famous for starring in the show ‘White Collar’ and for being really, really, ridiculously good looking. Also for being gay, which makes him unqualified to star in ’50 Shades of Grey’ according to Bret Easton Ellis on twitter last night. And if anyone knows about smart casting, it’s a guy who just hired Lindsay Lohan.

- “Okay I’ll say it. Matt Bomer isn’t right for Christian Grey because he is openly gay. He’s great for other roles but this is too big a game.”
- “I think Matt Bomer is incredibly handsome and a good actor but I think he comes off totally gay in White Collar. And that is why no to CG.”
- “I am NOT discriminating Matt Bomer because of his sexuality. Fifty Shades of Grey demands an actor that is genuinely into women. Get it?!?”

First of all, fuck Bret Easton Ellis. He thinks he’s Chuck Palahniuk (also gay by the way) or Don DeLillo but he’s not. Fuck him.

Second of all, I don’t know a thing about ’50 Shades of Grey’, but whoever wrote it’s wikipedia page presumably read it, and they say that Christian Greys mom is surprised to see him with a girl because…

(She) previously thought Grey was homosexual because she had never seen him with a woman.

Charming, handsome, and possibly gay. Clearly Matt Bomer is all wrong.

Grey later (reveals) that he lost his virginity at fifteen to one of his mother’s friends and that his previous dominant/submissive relationships failed due to incompatibility.

Well they already make movies like that. It’s a website called MILFs Like It Big. It is not romantic, and housewives do not like it. They don’t watch it at the beach or meet their friends at Starbucks to talk about it.

Christian Grey almost has to be played by a gay guy. There’s tons of talking and coquettish flirting and thoughtful gifts and asking the girl about bondage limits and safe words. I’m straight and I don’t do any of that. The bondage limits are “I get to do anything I want to you but stay away from me” and the safe words are “get off me jackass I can’t breathe”.

(image source = getty)