If there’s no love in your heart this Christmas because you’ve been holding out for a single 34-year-old woman with 8 kids, zero jobs, and a terrible attitude, Us magazine has good news.
Jon and Kate Gosselin’s ten-year marriage is now history.
On Wednesday an arbitrator ruled how the former spouses would divide their real estate and other assets. While most of those details remain confidential, Kate’s attorney confirmed that the former reality mom “will continue to reside with all eight of her children in the former marital home” in Wernersville, Penn.
Kate noted, “I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on our children” and “restructuring our lives.”
It’s so hard to believe that Jon is Asian. This is such specific white trash behavior, the Asians are way above this kind of thing, and the shame he’s brought to his family should have forced him to commit seppuku long ago, or whatever the Korean version is of that. The only thing about any of this that even seems a little bit Asian is the 8 kids. That’s 16 tiny hands to make shoes or whatever, and plenty to chose from if the government ever makes you throw all but 1 of them into the ocean.
Just yesterday, Star magazine went to press with a story claiming Tiger Woods has been trying to nail Jessica Simpson for months (a report Jess denied this morning on her twitter) and earlier today Us magazine reported that he is still texting Rachel Uchitel and trying to hook up.
With that in mind, it shouldn’t be a surprise that both ABC News and Radar are breaking stories that Elin Nordegren has set her divorce in motion. Radar says…
Tiger Woods’ wife Elin has decided to file divorce papers. Too many women and too many lies have pushed her over the edge. Elin has made up her mind that she can no longer be married to Tiger. “She’s not going to let Tiger talk his way out of this,” the source said. “There’s nothing he can say to erase years of betrayal.”
And ABC News writes …
Elin Nordegren has asked for a divorce according to ABCnews.com, which cited a source close to Woods’ wife as saying that a “divorce is 100 percent on.” The source said Nordegren plans to move cautiously while waiting to see if there are any new allegations of infidelity.
To make things even worse for Elin, the TYLER INVESTIGATIVE TEAM! has learned that sexy UK model Alice Goodwin got FF implants and then pranced around with her shirt off while Zoo magazine took pictures. So now Elin can’t even get a picture in stories that are about her. This poor girl just can’t catch a break.
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Avril Lavigne has been whoring around and partying as if she were single for the last few months, and according to Us.com, now she finally is.
After three years of marriage, Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley have split,
“She dumped him and told him she was leaving him. She wants to move on,” a source tells the new Us Weekly, adding that Lavigne, 25, forced him out of their $9.5 million, 12,00-square-foot estate in L.A.’s Bel Air. “Divorce papers will be filed any day now.”
Whibley, 29, “is crushed,” adds another insider
Uh, I get the feeling he’ll get over it. These pictures were taken 3 days ago in New York at the Ugly Dress and Smile Convention. “RRRERRRR, RERRRR! FIRE! RARRR”, Avril said.
(hq jump here. source = splash news)
This won’t win any points with the cool kids, but I think Sum 41 is okay. “We’re All To Blame” is a good song, and “Fat Lip”. So it seemed weird that Sums lead singer would put up with Avril Lavignes bratty little ass for all these years. I guess it turns out he was surprised by this turn of events too. The New York Daily News says…
Trouble has been brewing since early this year for Lavigne and Deryck Whibley, who haven’t been photographed together since last December … sources close to the couple, who have been married since 2006, say they’re headed for Splitsville.
That seemed apparent when the Canadian songstress was out and about in Southampton last weekend - sans hubby and looking anything but married.
A spy at celebrity eatery Georgica indeed saw Lavigne getting away - but hardly spending any time alone. Instead, says the onlooker, she was partying hard and hanging with a number of male admirers.
Another report said she did it with a guy named Sam Hendricks, but if that’s who I think it is, that dude is gayer than soy milk. More to the point, Avril needs to wake the hell up. She got famous at like 16, and teen girls are naturally stupid anyway, but famous teen girls are practically retarded. You could sit at home by yourself and practice being annoying in the mirror and still not do it any better than Avril.
