whats the latest with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?

I hope that headline didn't imply that I know all the latest developments in the divorce between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Oh my God this stupid thing is so confusing, and there's like a billion stories on it every day! CRUISE WILL FILE RIVAL DIVORCE PAPERS - probably in California, and may ask for full custody of Suri. Did you know you're not allowed to bluff when asking for full custody, and you actually have to...read more

you'll never guess why Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise

It would be easy to paint Scientology as some scary cult that has given Katie Holmes no choice but to divorce Tom Cruise, and that's because Scientology is a scary cult that has given Katie Holmes no choice but to divorce Tom Cruise. So here's a timeline explaining how we got here, and it's kinda long but don't skip to the end without paying me or else you'll die of pneumonia (I'm just like Scientology). February,...read more

Heidi Klum is single

Heidi Klum and Seal have had 4 kids during their seemingly happy 7 year marriage, but now those kids are orphans or whatever because Klum and Seal are getting a divorce. Last night, they released this controversial statement... "We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other, but our six-year-old son Henry still wets the bed. It's so embarrassing! We can't...read more

TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL!

When Sinead O'Connor got married to drug counselor Barry Herridge last month in Vegas, things got off to a rocky start. Because she immediately took him to the hood to buy drugs. Suffice to say they separated 18 days later. But last night Sinead announced that they're reconciling, and she did it in the most disgusting way possible, by tweeting: "Guess who had a mad love making affair with her own husband last night?"...read more

Sinead O'Conner is as weird and insane as she looks

Sinead O'Connor got married for the fourth time on December 8th in Vegas, then divorced the guy 16 days later on Christmas eve, and today she tells the Sun what went wrong. As you might expect, the part where she took her new husband, who is a drug counsellor, to the hood and bought crack was indeed a factor. O'Conner insisted that she still loved drugs counsellor Barry Herridge. But she admitted their marriage got...read more

Ashton Kutcher has some timely new relationship advice

If you think that being in the middle of a cheating scandal would stop Ashton Kutcher from sounding like a pretentious jackass while he pontificates on the secrets to a good relationship, please allow me to introduce you to Ashton Kutcher. He has new interviews in the December editions of 'Mens Health' and 'Womens Health', where he revealed his key to a happy marriage. "I think it's all about working on the...read more

Ashton and Demi announced their divorce

After months of speculation that their marriage was in trouble, Ashton Kuthcer and Demi Moore are getting a divorce. Ashton, since he's an idiot, naturally went right to twitter, while Demi (who will need a new twitter account now) released this statement... "It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values...read more

Kim Kardashian is "trying to reconcile"

Considering that she doesn't actually do anything, the public has always been fairly kind to Kim Kardashian. But that all changed after she filed for divorce 72 days after making 18 million dollars off her wedding to Kris Humphries, including a 2 million dollar engagement ring her mom said she deserved to keep. Now the public sort of hates her, so she spent yesterday at Humphries home in Canhassen, Minnesota,...read more

Kelly Ripa went as happily married Kim Kardashian

At around the exact same time that the story broke about Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from Kris Humphries, Kelly Ripa and Nick Lachey were on TV dressed up as Kim and Kris at their wedding. Hopefully the crowd turned on them and yelled "too soon!", "boooo", "you suck!" What an unexpected twist that would have been! I would have thrown a rock at Lacheys stupid face too. And when someone asked, "mad about the...read more

Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce

Just 72 days after Kim Kardashian made 18 million dollars off her wedding to malleable doofus Kris Humphries, she'll reportedly file for divorce later today citing "irreconcilable differences". Next up will come the divorce brought to you by legalzoom.com, then her new dates sponsored by eharmony.read more

Demi Moore met with a divorce attorney

Demi Moore reportedly met with a divorce attorney on Friday after weeks of rumors claiming that Ashton Kutcher has been cheating on her. After having a three way with some hot 23-year-old strangers in a hot tub in Vegas, he'll be hard pressed to save his marriage to his 48-year-old wife. What devastating news. Someone should take away his belt and shoelaces. (foxread more

Henifaa Yopez is seengle

The big celebrity news over the weekend was that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced on Friday that they were ending their 7 year marriage and getting a divorce. And if you nodded your head and thought, "yes, I agree, that is a very important story", well then I fucking hate you. "We have decided to end our marriage," they tell PEOPLE in a joint statement. "This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an...read more

Maria Shriver narc'd out Schwarzenegger

Many people have been wondering how Arnold Schwarzenegger was able to hide the existence of a son, the product of an affair with his housekeeper, for 13 years. Others have wondered how the secret managed to get out when it did. Well the answer to the second one is easy: his wife told the LA Times. Way to cock-block, Maria. I bet you're just pleased as punch. ...when Maria found out that Arnold was the father of...read more

Arnold Shwarzenegger cheated, had a bastard child with a maid

It was surprising when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced that they were separating after 25 years of marriage, but luckily Arnold has a back-up familia already in place. The LA Times, who broke the story last night, says Arnold had a relationship with a woman who worked for Arnold and Maria as a member of their household staff for 20 years. About 10 years ago they had a child, but the woman, who was...read more

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have split

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver first met in 1977, had their first date in 1982, got married in 1986, and had four kids. Which is probably why they're getting a divorce now. Jesus Christ, enough already. As the LA Times first reported last night... Former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, have separated, with Shriver moving out of their Brentwood mansion while the two determine the next...read more