Heidi Klum and Seal have had 4 kids during their seemingly happy 7 year marriage, but now those kids are orphans or whatever because Klum and Seal are getting a divorce. Last night, they released this controversial statement…
“We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other, but our six-year-old son Henry still wets the bed. It’s so embarrassing! We can’t even have his friends over anymore because he’ll pee on them. I don’t know what his deal is. He must like it, the little pervert. Does sham-wow make sheets? Because we’d buy some. Anyway, this led to a lot of tension in the house and that led to fights. So thanks a lot you little dick! Way to ruin our family.”
Wow, nice job Henry. Hey look, your mom is crying again, is this what you wanted, are you happy now?
When Sinead O’Connor got married to drug counselor Barry Herridge last month in Vegas, things got off to a rocky start. Because she immediately took him to the hood to buy drugs. Suffice to say they separated 18 days later.
But last night Sinead announced that they’re reconciling, and she did it in the most disgusting way possible, by tweeting:
“Guess who had a mad love making affair with her own husband last night?”
Awww. It’s really touching to see two people make a connection like this. Despite their different interests (getting high, the exact opposite of getting high) she’s determined to make it work. Or maybe it’s because of their differences. If anyone should know where to score some awesome weed it should be a drug counsellor.
(image source = aol, splash)
Sinead O’Connor got married for the fourth time on December 8th in Vegas, then divorced the guy 16 days later on Christmas eve, and today she tells the Sun what went wrong. As you might expect, the part where she took her new husband, who is a drug counsellor, to the hood and bought crack was indeed a factor.
O’Conner insisted that she still loved drugs counsellor Barry Herridge.
But she admitted their marriage got off to a turbulent start when she nearly bought crack on a wild hunt for (marijuana) on their wedding night.
She said: “We ended up in a cab in some place that was quite dangerous. I wasn’t scared — but he’s a drugs counsellor. What was I thinking? Then I was handed a load of crack. Barry was very frightened — that kind of messed everything up a bit really.”
She seems hung up on him being a drug counselor, but most romance experts agree that going to the hood to buy crack is bad date choice in general, regardless of what your date does for a living.
If you think that being in the middle of a cheating scandal would stop Ashton Kutcher from sounding like a pretentious jackass while he pontificates on the secrets to a good relationship, please allow me to introduce you to Ashton Kutcher. He has new interviews in the December editions of ‘Mens Health‘ and ‘Womens Health’, where he revealed his key to a happy marriage.
“I think it’s all about working on the relationship and making it better when it’s good. Don’t wait for a problem to work on things. The goal is not to get into a relationship; the goal is to be in a relationship.”
“At least that’s what it says here on my list of pandering things to say to a magazine for women to make me seem romantic and sensitive.”
When asked what compliment he’d most like to receive from a woman, Kutcher said:
“I would just like a woman someday, somewhere, at some point in my life to say to me, ‘You’re a great listener’ Haven’t heard it yet, and that’s a superior compliment to get from a woman. But I’m going to work on it.”
“As your wife I really hate it when you go out and bang random whores. Ashton are you listening to me?”
And what might be the most revealing comment of all, Kutcher remarked, “I could never be with a woman who felt like she needs to change me.”
“Well I could be, as long as she minds her own business.”
(image source of ashton yesterday outside his enormous two-story trailer on the set of ‘two and a half men’ = inf)
After months of speculation that their marriage was in trouble, Ashton Kuthcer and Demi Moore are getting a divorce. Ashton, since he’s an idiot, naturally went right to twitter, while Demi (who will need a new twitter account now) released this statement…
“It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life.”
“This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation.”
So that “vows that I hold sacred” part very definitely makes it sound like this was about Ashton banging all those whores. Generally speaking, wives hate that. As a marriage fan, Demi found that in poor taste.
Considering that she doesn’t actually do anything, the public has always been fairly kind to Kim Kardashian. But that all changed after she filed for divorce 72 days after making 18 million dollars off her wedding to Kris Humphries, including a 2 million dollar engagement ring her mom said she deserved to keep.
Now the public sort of hates her, so she spent yesterday at Humphries home in Canhassen, Minnesota, pretending to fight for her sham marriage. And the paparazzi got pictures of it! What a lucky break for her! As everyone knows you can’t go ten feet in Canhassen, Minnesota, without tripping over the paparazzi.
(image source = inf)
