Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg Are Polished Up Like Fruit

By Lex May 15, 2014 @ 3:13 PM

Jenny McCarthy In A Bikini With Donnie Walberg For The June 2014 Issue Of  Shape Magazine
Weddings always make me cry. I’m a sucker for true love. And if this world can’t stop for a minute and recognize the romance between a topless model who technically never once told moms not to vaccinate their kids and a guy whose brother has been good in three out of twenty-four films he’s made, then why the fuck is it spinning in its first place? That’s rhetorical. Where’s my fucking hanky.

Photo Credit: Shape

Jenny McCarthy Is Marriage Material

By Lex April 16, 2014 @ 3:17 PM

Jenny McCarthy has a new ring on her finger. And, no, it’s not the platinum band to signify her millionth child kill through ardently promoting the spread of preventable infectious disease. She’s engaged to Donnie Wahlberg, the former New Kids on the Block performer and present day, Police Detective #5 on numerous TV shows. Still, he’s Mark Wahlberg’s brother which makes him a definite catch by just a degree of separation. Already, the couple are planning on combining Jenny’s advanced knowledge of epidemiology gleaned from ‘some JuCo’ with Donnie’s highly practiced rhythmic dance moves to produce a series of educational videos for children called ‘Polio Means Mommy Loves Me’. Through song and dance, afflicted children will come to merrily accept their shorter life spans and extended stays coughing up blood in hospital wards. The whole family will cheer when Jenny herself comes out in leg braces and does the robot. Best of luck to Jenny and Donnie on their nuptials.

Donnie Wahlberg Has Settled For Jenny McCarthy

By Travis August 26, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

At first, when I read that Donnie Wahlberg is now dating Jenny McCarthy and was her date to the Dancing With the Stars charity event on Saturday, I thought to myself, “This guy’s a surprisingly successful actor after he spent most of his younger years as the wannabe hard ass douchebag in a boy band filled with other generic douchebags, so why the fuck is he with a washed up, worn out attention whore like her?”

But then I realized that he’s still just Donnie Wahlberg, so he’s probably pretty happy to be playing with her only valuable assets, even if they’ve gone from midnight to 6 pm pretty quickly over the last few years.

(Photo Credits: Getty)