Inception was stolen from Scrooge McDuck

By brendon August 03, 2010 @ 3:50 PM


Sorry about the fact that there haven’t been any posts today. Some site issues came up this morning and I got all pissed off, so while I sort that out, please enjoy this Scrooge McDuck comic book from 2002 that tells the story of criminals who break into Scooges dreams to steal his secrets, specifically to break into a vault where his secrets are hidden. Scrooge and Donald just want to go home, but the physical world around them is constantly changing and shifting, with crazy things like trains appearing out of nowhere.

If that sounds like the plot of Inception, it should. Christopher Nolan just replaced the Beagle Boys with Leonardo DiCaprio and then made it all fancy by spinning the camera around and shit.

(read it here, or download the pdf here)

Tom Hardy has had gay sex

By brendon July 29, 2010 @ 10:55 AM

Tom Hardy is one of the best actors alive, and he finally started getting the credit he deserves last year (Best Actor) for ‘Bronson’. Now ‘Inception’ is making him even more famous. He’ll be the lead in the new Mad Max movies and there’s even a rumor he’ll replace Daniel Craig as James Bond because MGM is $3.7 billion in debt, might have had to cancel Craigs contract, and now will have to start all over.

Back in 2005, before deciding on Craig, Hugh Jackman was one of the final choices to play Bond but lost out because producers thought he seemed a little gay. That could be a bad sign for Tom Hardy.

When asked if he had ever had sex with men, Tom replied:
“Of course I have. I’m an actor for f*ck’s sake. I’ve played with everything and everyone. I love the form and the physicality, but now that I’m in my thirties, it doesn’t do it for me. I’m done experimenting but there’s plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man, especially gay men, that I need in my life. A lot of gay men get my thing for shoes. I have definite feminine qualities and a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine. A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”

I actually stopped reading after “Of course I have. I’m an actor.” I knew it. I knew they were all gay. Almost everyone in Hollywood is. That’s why I roller skate to my meetings with producers about screenplays, with my smooth sweaty muscles glistening in the sun, flexing in a seductive display. I’m gonna be rich. The teases always make the most money.

Monday morning headlines

By brendon July 26, 2010 @ 1:02 AM


THE AVENGERS - were on stage together at Comic-Con, and HERE is a giant full sized picture of it showing, from left to right, Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man), Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson), Scarlet Johansson (Black Widow), Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Chris Evans (Captain America), Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury), Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye), Mark Ruffalo (the Hulk) and director Joss Whedon. It’s an amazing cast with the exception of Ruffalo, who replaced Edward Norton. So they replaced one monotone, zero-charisma bore with another, for a character who talks about science. Try to be in your seats for his scenes so you don’t fall down. (aint it cool)

HALLE BERRY – broke up with Gabriel Aubry in April (they dated for 5 years and had a daughter in 2008) but yesterday all 3 of them flew to South Africa. Halle is going to film a movie called ‘Dark Tide’, Gabriel is going to scope out new black chicks. (popeater)

INCEPTION – won the weekend box office again ($43.5 million), despite a strong debut by Angelina Jolies ‘Salt’ ($36.5 million), which maybe would have made more if it didn’t sound like some kind of cooking show. (variety)

BLAKE LIVELY – was at Comic-Con to promote ‘the Green Lantern’, and she and Ryan Reynolds sat on a panel and waited for questions while several hundred nerds nudged each other and pantomimed tits. (getty)

monday morning headlines

By brendon July 19, 2010 @ 1:28 PM


INCEPTION - made $60 million to easily win the weekend box office. ‘Despicable Me’ was in second with 32.7m, and ‘the Sorcerers Apprentice’ was third with a disappointing 17m. But don’t panic Hollywood. People can’t get enough movies about a kid who thinks they’re ordinary until an eccentric stranger arrives and teaches them to use their untapped magic powers. I see no reason to stop making those. (variety)

WHITNEY HOUSTON - spends over 6 grand a week on cocaine, over 325 grand a year, and she could be dead in a year according to worried friends and an even more worried coke dealer. (enquirer)

TIGER WOODS - pouts like a little girl when things don’t go his way, so naturally he threw a hissyfit at the British Open Saturday before finishing in 23rd place. It was right after he missed a 2 foot putt that any toddler could make even if they were blindfolded and held the club upside down. Then he acted like it was the courses fault. Yeah that must be it Tiger. That hole has a strict Whites Only policy. (huff post)

ANNALYNNE MCCORD - turned 23 on Friday, and this weekend she celebrated in Vegas at Wet Republic with Kellan Lutz from ‘Twilight’. She looked pretty weird actually, and he’s genuinely ugly. If these two ever have a baby there’s a good chance one of the nurses would beat it with a bible. (splash)

tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon June 22, 2010 @ 6:39 PM


LADY GAGA – is a jerk according to Jerry Seinfeld.  He was asked about her drunken antics at a Mets game last week in a private luxury box that he owns and did not give her permission to use. “The woman is a jerk. I hate her. I don’t know why she’s doing this stuff. I don’t know what these young people think or how they promote their careers.” After that he yelled at the interviewer to speak up and then complained about medicine bottles being too hard to open. (popeater)

INCEPTION – has a new 2 minute trailer revealing much more about the individual characters in the only interesting looking movie all summer. What it won’t prepare you for is all the reviews with shitty ‘Dark Night’ headlines that you’ll have to endure. (youtube)

JESSICA HART – is a SI swimsuit model from Australia, and yesterday she was on the beach in the Hamptons in a bikini. I don’t have much time here, so just trust me when I say this will go much better if you put the palm of your hand over the top half of your monitor starting right now. (pacific coast)