All the dumb websites and magazines and TV shows do lists at the end of the year, counting down and ranking everything you can imagine, and they’re all subjective and poorly thought out and painful to read. But nothing else is going on this time of year, and so here we go.
100. JASMINE FIORE WAS MURDERED - by her husband, who was a contestant on the VH1 show ‘Megan Wants a Millionaire’. He pulled out her teeth, cut off her fingers and threw her body in a dumpster. So at least he wasn’t a litterbug. (August 15th)
99. MICHAEL JACKSON DIED - This one should probably be higher on the list but fuck that dude. He was a pedophile and his music sucked. Good riddance weirdo. (June 25th)
98. SUSAN BOYLE IS AN OVERNIGHT STAR - Does it bother anyone that she can’t really sing? After the first 5 lines on her famous ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ appearance her voice completely went to hell. What do you, got asthma or somethin? (April 11th)
97. LINDSAY LOHAN SUCKS - The reviews for the debut of her fashion line could have been worse, but only if they included a bunch of racist name calling for some reason. (October 4th)
96. BRITNEY SPEARS IS STACKED - Britney wore a see-thru t-shirt while in Australia for her ‘Circus’ tour. It maybe wasn’t as newsworthy as Michael Jackson dying, but what can I say, I just really love looking at girls’ tits. (November 5th)
JASMINE FIORE – model mayhem is terrific, but it might be time to take Jasmines profile down. Especially since her last post said “please shoot me”. I wasn’t even looking for this and found it, despite only browsing around for 10 minutes. Well, under an hour at least. 1 hour. Maybe 2. Less than 5. A little over 5. God I’m So Lonely! (modelmayhem)
DERTY – I don’t get much new music around here, but Derty is pretty GD cool. At least from the safety of the internet. In real life I would probably hide in the outhouse like those little girls in ‘Schindlers List’ if I saw him and his friends coming toward me. I’m sensible! (youtube)
KENDRA WILKINSON – her husband Hank Baskett, who is a wide receiver for Philadelphia, was cut from the 53-man roster to make room for Mike Vick. So forget about shots of Kendra in a slutty Eagles jersey during the game and in tabloids. It would seem head coach Andy Reid has a lot to learn about modern football. (foxsports)
PATRICK SWAYZE – these are reportedly the last pictures ever taken of him, in Beverly Hills on 8.25.09. He was understandably camera shy as the cancer took over. In a sense, I’m the same way. I don’t post many pictures of myself because I don’t want to be known as just a pretty face. (hq jump here. source = flynet)
Yikes. Ryan Jenkins, the finalist from the VH1 show “Megan Wants a Millionaire”, the one now hiding in Canada after killing onetime Playboy model Jasmine Fiore, gets an A for effort when it comes to killing people in accordance with things he thinks he learned from Martin Scorsese movies. It didn’t work but he certainly gave it his all.
Police said Thursday that Jenkins, 32, removed the teeth and fingers of 28-year-old Jasmine Fiore, presumably to impede authorities in their efforts to identify the naked body, which was found stuffed in a suitcase in a California trash bin over the weekend.
Fiore, a former swimsuit model, and Jenkins were briefly married after a quickie Las Vegas wedding this year, and had been fighting in recent months. Prosecutors said the two checked into a San Diego hotel last Thursday, and Jenkins checked out the next morning. Fiore was not seen alive again.
Did they move San Diego or something? It’s still on the water, 5 minutes from Mexico, right? He could have thrown her in the ocean or driven across the border and propped her up in a bar with one of those big hats on her head. A week later she’d still be there but in a swimsuit and a sash indicating she won the Miss Tecate bikini contest.
This story is so fucked up it’s almost hard to comprehend. Thankfully TMZ writes at a level where you expect the story to have pop-up dinosaurs in it or furry swatches over drawings of a dog. The cliff notes are this:
- The body of a one-time Playboy model named Jasmine Fiore (above, right) was found in a trash bin, stuffed inside a suitcase, in Buena Park last Saturday morning.
- The suspect is a man named Ryan Jenkins, who was a finalist on the VH1 dating show, “Megan Wants a Millionaire.”
- The shows finale has not aired, but Jenkins was reportedly cut near the end. After he was cut, he went to Vegas, met Jasmine in a strip club, and married her two days later.
- Surprisingly, Jasmines roommate says their relationship was “on the rocks”. She also said that Jenkins told her he was “done with the relationship” and that “he couldn’t take it anymore”. This was one day after Jasmine was found in a dumpster.
- Jenkins is still on the run, and may be fleeing to Canada.
WENN had these pictures of Jasmine. She’s not very attractive, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to kill her. Legally, I mean.
