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Mexican Nitwit Tits And Shit Around The Web

MTV Latin America is launching a Mexican remake of The Jersey Shore called Acapulco Shore in September. It will be the same genius premise of the originally, but now everybody will give each other chlamydia in Spanish. Now even more people are going to be fleeing Mexico. (Fox News) Lily Allen flashes her glittery panties on stage. (Drunken Stepfather) Kim says Khloe was hungover from booze and mutton at her wedding. (...read more

Get Ready For A Mexican Jersey Shore

Animated human fecal matter is back as MTV creates a Mexican version of The Jersey Shore. The show will take place somewhere in Mexico and will feature trashy sluts and moronic gym rats drinking and fucking their way into our hearts. The show is going to be set in one of the trashiest cities in all of Mexico -- everywhere. The Fresa is the Hispanic version of the Guidette and there are Guido-like types a plenty. Did...read more

Deena Cortese Focuses On Her Best Parts

I'm told by imaginary voices that Deena Cortese is one of the girls from MTV's already forgotten reality series, The Jersey Shore, but she's not the short one that is slowly withering away like she just looked at the Ark, nor is she the one with the gigantic breasts that look like they were created by the Mayans to store winter harvests. So which one of Deena? The world may never know. But thanks to her Twitter feed,...read more

JWOWW Is An 'Actress' Now, But It's Not Porn

Now that Snooki has become a huge success at being a human bobblehead doll, her castmate from Jersey Shore Jenni Farley, AKA JWOWW, has also figured out what it is she wants to be when she grows up. Because it takes practically no talent at all, JWOWW has fit right in as one of the new young cast members on the soap opera One Life to Live, which has been downgraded from actual TV series to something lonely women watch...read more

Sammi Sweetheart might pose for Playboy

Though there doesn't appear to be any firm offer on the table, Sammi Sweetheart of ‘Jerey Shore' is said to be "considering" whether she should pose for Playboy. "I just feel weird about my boobs. ... But I don't know. I don't know if that's the right direction you want to go in." Yeah it would be a real shame for Sammi to sully her good name by posing in Playboy. She has such a bright future ahead of her. (image...read more

"I want to smell like JWoww smells."

JWoww went to New York yesterday for the launch of her exclusive fragrance line at K-Mart, which is exactly the kind of place I assumed would have an exclusive fragrance line from JWoww. It's surprising more of the 'Jersey Shore' cast doesn't have perfumes and colognes, because you can't watch that show for 5 minutes without thinking, "I bet those people smell terrific." (image source = splash)read more

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so, this happened

You're gonna find this impossible to believe, but on ‘Jersey Shore' last night, Snooki and Deena went to a club and got drunk. And then after that they started making out. As gross as that sounds, please note that I mean with each other. And thanks to a weak gag reflex, that's about where I stopped reading. They could have fought King Kong after that for all I know.read more

Friday headlines, with female empowerment

KATY PERRY - will tie Michael Jacksons record if her 5th single off 'Teenage Dream' goes to number 1 like the other 4 have. And also if she gets two dozen little boys drunk and blows them. (mtv) CARS 2 - is the worst reviewed Pixar movie ever, and not coincidentally they've now unveiled the characters for 'Brave', their first movie with a female protagonist. So I guess it's about girl problems, like when there are no...read more

Wednesday headlines

THE HANGOVER 3 - is already in development, and Zach Galafianakis says the story will center around his character getting sprung from a mental institution. In other words, expect to see his ass in a hospital gown. (rolling stone) SALT 2 - could be on the way now that Angelina Jolie has agreed to do it and Sony has hired Kurt Wimmer to write a script. Might I suggest showing her ass in a hospital gown. (mtv) SIENNA...read more

Snooki is even sexier in a neck brace

As if Snooki wasn't already hot enough, now she's wearing a neck brace as a result of her car crash this weekend. But then it got uncomfortable and she took it off. Until they started filming again and she put it back on. The Italians really have to think this is some kind of show about partially shaved, domesticated monkeys at this point. (image source = bauer griffin)read more

Snooki crashed into an Italian police car

Everyone on 'Jersey Shore' is dumb as a rock, so to say that Snooki is the dumbest one means she's practically retarded. It's like being the ugliest catfish. True to form, she crashed into the back of a police car this weekend while filming in Florence, putting the two officers in the hospital for minor injuries. She was then taken into custody, though not arrested, because she didn't have any of her paperwork (oh...read more

oh thank God! Ronnie and the Situation made up!

After reports that Ronnie and the Situation got into a fight Monday night while filming season 3 of 'Jersey Shore' in Florence, it was a welcome relief to see the two of them out for a walk yesterday, and that the Situation was just as handsome as ever. Although he looked a little meek. Like a battered wife. Two seconds after this he no doubt said, "I'm sorry I made you yell at me, Ronnie." (image source = inf)read more

Ronnie did or did not beat up the Situation

Yesterday afternoon there was a story saying Ronnie and the Situation, currently filming season 3 of 'Jersey Shore' in Florence, Italy, got into a fight Monday night, and it all added up because there were pictures showing cuts on Ronnies hand and bruises on Situations face, and that's what happens when the first thing is repeatedly slammed into the second thing. We probably won't know the truth until the season...read more

at least JWoww is kind of hot

'Jersey Shore' has only been in Florence for a few days, but JWoww didn't waste any time in going to the gym and showing off her tits and abs. After that she went tanning. Laundry was no doubt next. Unfortunately Snooki was there too and ruined any chance America had of making a good impression. If I were Italy and some country sent that over and it was in spandex shorts and then started sweating, I'd consider it an...read more

'Jersey Shore' has arrived in Italy

The cast of ‘Jersey Shore' arrived in Florence, Italy, today to film the next season of their MTV show, and if you're wondering how long it took to for them to embarrass me as an American, I'm not quite sure. However long it took for Snooki to get out of the bus. (image source = pacific coast and inf)read more