Jessica Alba Looks Great Shopping For Food

By Travis March 10, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Just in case the first look at Jessica Alba in Sin City 2 didn’t impress you, because she was wearing a wig or that black and white artsy bullshit is just too fake looking for you, the actress went with a natural beauty look while grocery shopping over the weekend to remind you that she basically looks good in any light. She might not have ever learned how to act over her 20 year career, but nobody really needs to know how to memorize lines when they have legs like that. It’s just a shame that she didn’t show her comedy side by holding a pair of melons in front of her chest like they were her comically large breasts, and then take her top off. That would have been hilarious.

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Jessica Alba Looking Good in Sin City The Second

By Lex March 07, 2014 @ 2:37 PM

Jessica Alba In The Trailer For 'Sin City A Dame To Kill For'
It’s nice when mom gets some time away from the kids and her semi-employed house husband to go film a raunchy pulp comic sequel. Nine years in the making, Sin City 2 is finally coming out so that an entire new generation of questionably confident young men on the Internet can race to be first to say they love Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez is a genius. I don’t know how good this movie will be, but it’s got Jessica Alba in just her bra, I’m assuming there will be some digitally faked nudity as well. I love digitally faked nudity. It’s how I intend to spend the better part of my golden years.

Jessica Alba In A Bikini

By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 12:43 PM

Jessica Alba In A Purple Bikini On The Beach In Malibu
It’s got to be good to be Jessica Alba. You can wear stupid looking shit to the beach and everybody just thinks you look amazing regardless. Which you do, because you’re Jessica Alba. And if the beach party you’re invited to is a total bore, you can always go back to your car and rub Jessica Alba’s twat for a couple minutes or three hours. That’s a huge advantage.

Here’s Jessica in Malibu on Sunday. She wore the obligatory Hollywood celebrity beach hat so paparazzi could find her in a crowd and she could complain about not getting any privacy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN

Jessica Alba Looks Really Fucking Nervous

By Lex July 02, 2013 @ 10:27 AM

Jessica Alba In See Through Shirt Arriving At A Medical Building In Los Angeles
Jessica Alba looks like she’s at Camp Crystal Lake and the dude she was supposed to be boning after lights out suddenly went missing. Only, she’s not in a horror movie, she’s visiting a medical office in West Hollywood. And sweating. I just want to give her a cup of sherbet and tell her everything is going to be alright with her abortion.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Jessica Alba Flips Off Paparazzi

By Lex June 03, 2013 @ 8:25 AM

You can tell Jessica Alba is a good girl. She can’t even bring herself to fully flip off the paparazzi. She probably doesn’t even masturbate. Which is a shame, because she seems to have long fingers and be double jointed. I’d have to imagine her tub time is simply exquisite. I’m imagining it right now. Really, I’m the one who deserves to be flipped off, Jessica.

Jessica Alba Flashes Kids at the Park

By Lex May 07, 2013 @ 3:10 PM

How embarrassed are you as a kid when your mom exposes herself at the park? I know it was the shame of my childhood. When dad joined in, I had to abandon public play areas altogether. So imagine how Serenity and Oblong, or whatever Jessica Alba named her two kids, felt when Jessica Alba whipped off her coat to reveal her bare teat through a bra that seems a bit racy for a toddler park. Not that I’m complaining. Because I’m straight. Like an arrow. With a really cute designer fletching.

Photo credit: Splash and AKM/GSI