Jessica Alba looked terrific over the holidays when she hit the beach in a bikini. Not only did she get her hot body back after having a baby, but she made it look easy. But it’s not, and it sure as hell isn’t easy enough for Jessica Simpson to do it, despite what she was thinking when she went on twitter and wrote:
“New goal: look like @jessicaalba after baby. Job well done lady!”
To which Alba somehow avoided sarcasm to reply:
“OMG! Ur so sweet! Thx hon!”
As a reminder, this was Jessica Alba on July 24th, 22 days before she gave birth.
This is Jessica Simpson on December 18th. And December 23rd. She’s at least twice the size of Alba, and she’s not due for another 3 months. The only thing Jessica Simpson resembled in those Jessica Alba pictures was the sun.
Jessica Alba spent the new year in Cabo San Lucas with Cash Warren, and she looks so good it’s easy to forget she has two kids. But she does. The slut. And of course she’s in a bikini. Dirty clothes for a dirty whore.
(image source = fame)
Jessica Alba is back in Mexico this week, and by that I just mean that she vacations there a lot. Not that she snuck into this country and took acting jobs from Americans. Though now I sorta feel like that should be looked into. Kelly Clarkson really opened my eyes about those people.
(image source = bauer griffin)
JESSICA ALBA - gave birth to her second child Saturday night, another baby girl, named Haven Garner Warren. There’s no word on if Alba is home from the hospital yet, but since she’s Mexican she’ll probably stop at the mall first to have Havens ears pierced. (facebook)
AUSTIN POWERS 4 - is or is not on the way. Hit Fix says the deal is done, Deadline says nothing is official yet. For now, Halloween stores everywhere will just have to cross their fingers. (hit fix, deadline)
TARA REID - tweeted that she got married in Greece on Saturday just a few hours after tweeting that she was engaged. Some thought the lucky fella was ex-boyfriend Michael Lilleund or ex-fiance Michael Axtmann, but it’s actually some guy named Zack Kehayov, which I bet will be news to Tara once the ouzo wears off. (people)
JOHNNY DEPP - was reuniting with director Gore Verbinski and producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who first teamed up to make ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, to play Tonto in a film version of ‘The Lone Ranger’, but Disney shut production down on Friday because the budget was already at 250 million. It’s a lot of money, but try to think of even one western that cost less that 200 million. You can’t name even one can you? If you wan’t to film two guys on horses, it’s gonna cost you. (la times)
BROOKE BURKE - spent the weekend with her husband David Charvet on the beach in St. Barths, all part of the MILF bikini contest that Hollywood was apparently holding. (splash)
Jessica Alba was at the Whole Foods in Brentwood this weekend, and I can’t quite put my finger on it but something tells me she might be pregnant. Let me make some calls, check with my sources, see what I can find out.
(image source = flynet)
Jessica Alba spent a second day in a bikini down in Cabo, Mexico, and I love girls with big tits, and I’ve always wanted to see Jessica Alba with bigger tits, but this is like one of those Faustian deals where my wish comes back to bite me in the ass. Like, the Devil granted my wish, and now she has bigger tits, but it’s because she’s pregnant, which is repulsive. Stop being such a dick Devil, you know what I meant.
((image source = splash news and flynet))
