About 5 years ago, every actress in Hollywood vowed to stop wearing anything sexy or interesting to award shows, and if you watched the Golden Globes last night, you know it was no exception.
Jessica Biel, for example, looked awful on the show, but the night before at W magazines party for show, she looked terrific. This honeymoon phase between when Justin Timberlake swears he won’t cheat again and when Justin Timberlake starts cheating again has really given her a glow.
My favorite part of the Golden Globes last night was when Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Biel came out to present ‘Best Actor’, and Wahlberg was asked to read things. Which was funny because Mark Wahlberg is an idiot.
His first line, which the professional actor apparently couldn’t remember and had to read off the teleprompter, was, “And here is the impressive list of nominees.” Unfortunately, “impressed” is not an emotion in his acting arsenal. “Mumbling like a slow-witted doofus” is however, and so he did that instead.
Even better was when it was time to announce Jean Dujardin as the winner. Wahlberg opened the envelope, took a quick breath, began to speak… then saw the name, instantly gave up, and passed it off on Biel. It would have been so great to hear him say, “And the winner is Gene Duh-Jar-Din”. Especially if there were someone there actually named that. What a thrill it would have been for Gene and his family.
Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake started dating in May of 2007. Three months after that, the rumors that he was cheating on her began, and they - basically - never - stopped for the four years that they dated. Because he’s a jackass who was absolutely cheating on her. And so in March of 2011, they broke up. :(
But now not only are they back together, but Us magazine says they’re engaged. To get married. To each other.
Timberlake popped the question to Biel (last week) in the mountains of Jackson, Wyoming. “Justin knows how much she loves snowboarding and the mountains, so it was the perfect place,” one insider explains.
Another Timberlake insider adds that he’s “never been happier” with the New Year’s Eve actress. “He knew it was the right time to propose.”
Oh yeah I bet he did. There’s nothing girls like more than screwing over other girls, so I bet breaking up with Jessica really began a sharp decline in the amount of pussy he was getting. Needless to say he had to fix that problem asap.
A cast including Sarah Jessica Parker, Ashton Kutcher, Jon Bon Jovi, Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Lea Michele, and Michelle Pfeiffer wasn’t enough to get anyone to go see ‘New Years Eve’, which was number 1 at the box office despite grossing just $13.7 Million. It’s the 66th lowest debut of 2011, even lower than ‘Something Borrowed’ and ‘Jumping the Broom’, which I don’t think are even real movies.
It did much worse than ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ ($27.8M) and ‘Valentines Day’ ($56.3M), and doesn’t bode well for ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’, which all share the same theme of being romantic comedies with a big-name ensemble cast embarrassing themselves in idiotic vignettes for money. How Zac Efron wasn’t a vampire in this thing defies belief.
(source = box office mojo)
Seemingly unfazed by the fact that it was raining, Jessica Alba wore this tight white dress on her way to Letterman yesterday to promote that awful looking ‘New Years Eve’ movie. “I like movies, but I’d prefer it if each one had 9 or 10 completely unrelated stories,” said no one.
(image source of biel on letterman yesterday = fame and inf)
“Hey. Where did you get those clothes… at the… toilet store?”
(image source of jessica biel last night in new york at fashion group international’s 28th annual night of stars = splash and getty. is she being sarcastic or something? the fuck is she wearing?)
