Kourtney Kardashian Nude Promotions

By Lex November 19, 2015 @ 12:28 PM

Kourtney Kardashian Undressed For New Promo
Kourtney Kardashian showing off where bastard babies come from encapsulates everything that’s wrong with Kardashian media content. It’s porn with far too much yapping between the money shots. Nobody wants to see Emmanuelle exploring erotic fabrics in Bangkok for an hour and a half anymore. I got five chubby black dudes and a girl in a mask good to go for a three minute Xhamster video. Stop cutting in divorces and tranny paternity issues betwixt my titty shots. Kourtney writhing naked on the ground is your Oscar.

Photo Credit: “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” Promo E!

I Know a Girl Who Wants to Fuck Kendall Jenner Pretty Badly

By Lex November 04, 2015 @ 12:46 PM

Cara Delevingne sent a cake to Kendall Jenner featuring the two of their faces melded into one, surrounded by candy lips and nipples and a handy veiny dong. I’m not sure how a lesbian says we should be together, but this seems like the right sugary come-on. Delevingne played the cake off as a total joke, which she does so well moments before she’s two knuckles deep into your Fudgie the Whale. She’s nailed a lot of pussy with her demure giggles and stalker cakes.

Jenner celebrated her 20th birthday by getting her friends and family together without bras to show off their tits.  Kim Kardashian was intentionally omitted because she’s too fat to be seen in public. Oh, go have a fucking cry about that Jaime King. It wasn’t me who uninvited her. The Kardashians are a practical clan.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kourtney Kardashian Legs Akimbo

By Lex October 27, 2015 @ 11:02 AM

Kourtney Kardashian Super Tight Jeans In LA
To win back your Kardashian sister you have to very publicly get plastered and fuck a bunch of random women. It reminds them of their dad. And mom. Lamar Odom did it. Props to you, champ. Now Scott Disick has begged Kourtney Kardashian to take him back after a three month bender of Stella Artois and teenage model pussy.

Some men find better and realize they are better while others find it only reminds them of the weak inferior bastards they are deep down. Keep your legs together, Kourtney. He gets it. You’re riding lots of ginormous mall cock in his absence. Let him stew through the latest rehab then take him back for sweeps week. Gross people eventually have to reconnect. They’re like really smelly magnets.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kourtney Kardashian’s Kid Knows the Drill

By Lex October 19, 2015 @ 11:03 AM

Kourtney Kardashians Blouse Gets Tugged By Kid
Kourtney Kardashian ditched the faith healing circle around Lamar Odom to get her ass on over to Tyga’s kids birthday party where there was a ton of eligible rappers in Ferraris. There’s no shame in wanting a black dude of your own to help you not raise your children. Kardashian’s middle kid knows the stats. He fares better with a shitty stand-in dad than he does with no father at all. He pulled back mom’s top and urged her to get to work. Boys don’t necessarily do well in this family.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kourtney Kardashian Daughter Takes One to the Chin

By Lex October 12, 2015 @ 11:11 AM

You’re a pretty sick bastard if the sight of a girl taking a car door to the face makes you laugh. I did. You can see the high-speed frame shots HERE.

People are criticizing Kourtney Kardashian for reflexively waiting for her nanny to appear on the scene to assist her daughter crying on the ground after taking a car door to the face in Malibu. Who doesn’t remember their oblivious mom peacocking them around town for the cameras and taking repeated Range Rover door panels to the grill. The entourage of nannies and security that follow the Kardashians on their public outings are trained to keep several paces off-camera so they don’t spoil what appears to be normal mom shit going down. It’s like FDR being stood up for his public speeches. America needed the reassurance. Kourtney can make more babies. This nanny has only one that keeps her rent paid. Reaction times adjusted accordingly.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kourtney Kardashian Topless In Vanity Fair

By Lex October 07, 2015 @ 9:44 AM

Kourtney Kardashian Butt Nekkid In Vanity Fair
Kourtney Kardashian released photos from Vanity Fair where she appears to be writhing in pain from family branded diet powder withdrawal. Like Trainspotting, but even less intelligible. With three illegitimate children, Kourtney Kardashian has always been seen as the thoughtful sister among the porn family coven. I question the wisdom of these photos. Wait for the Red Cross to arrive with a hot meal and a blanket. You’ll have to fuck one of them, but think of the wonderful stories for the Gonorrhea and Etc. chapter of your memoirs.

Photo Credit: Vanity Fair