Kourtney Kardashian Is Not Horrible Enough to Be Memorable

By Lex May 01, 2013 @ 11:44 AM

If Kendall and Kylie are the school dropout teen trollops, Kim is the centerpiece attention whore, and Khloe the frightening consumer of planets, where does that leave Kourtney? She’s tried to get attention by getting knocked up by a fay snowboarder, not once, but twice. But cute little bastard offspring hardly cut it for standing out in the Kardashian money-grubbing freak show. Kourtney may just be the Kardashian not truly horrible enough to be remembered. That’s the nightmare every Kardashian secretly dreams at night.

Here’s Kourtney on the family vacation to Greece (a.k.a. KUWTK Ep. 84). Even her swimsuit is boring.

Photo Credit: Splash

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Tags: kourtney kardashian |

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Kris Jenner used to beat Kim Kardashian

By brendon January 24, 2013 @ 4:53 PM

In handwritten diaries by the late Robert Kardashian, father of at least Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, he wrote that his ex wife Kris Jenner would physically abuse and threaten her children, which in hindsight really does seem like something Kris Jenner would do.

In the journal entries, dated throughout 1989 and 1990, Robert paints a heartbreaking childhood portrait of Kim, Kourtney and Khloé and a damning picture of mom Kris Jenner.
“Kris was kicking and beating her and said she was going to kill [Kim]!” Robert claimed in his diary on Aug. 24, 1989. “Kim was hysterical.”

So far there’s no reason to doubt the authenticity of the diaries and since these were never intended to go public there’s no rational explanation for why he would lie. Another interesting note is that if you check Kris Jenners diary from August 24, 1989, it says, “had to teach Kim a lesson today. Bet she won’t even think about dating a black guy again.”

(source = intouch)

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could you go inside to do that Kourtney

By brendon September 27, 2012 @ 4:32 PM

Kourtney Kardashian was working out on the beach in Miami yesterday, still trying to lose weight after having her second baby in July, and I’m sure everyone racing off to photoshop her on a toilet or with a dick in her hands while getting drilled from behind really appreciates that.

(image source = inf)

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Kim spent some quiet time with Kourtney, the media

By brendon September 24, 2012 @ 6:24 PM

The photo agency says that Kim and Kourtney Kardashian went to the beach in Miami today “for some sisterly bonding”, which of course means in full hair and makeup in front of a camera and film crew.

Kims tits looked great of course (god help me I love girls with big tits), but her outfit was weird. Her ass is too big to wear white and play in the ocean; it feels like there should also be pictures of her dancing and laughing in a cafe and then a voice-over where Kim says she needed an adult diaper that could keep up with her active lifestyle.

(image source = inf, splash, pacific coast)

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Tags: kim kardashian, kourtney kardashian |

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the Kardashians signed a $40,000,000 extension

By brendon April 24, 2012 @ 8:00 PM

Deadline is reporting today that the Kardashians (all 8 of them) have signed a three-year deal with E! for the 7th, 8th, and 9th seasons of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’. It also includes a first-look deal for other unscripted show ideas or concepts.

I could have saved them a lot of money on that second part because here’s every idea the Kardashians have ever and will ever have for a TV show: find the dumbest cunts in America and film them.

(image source for kim and kourtney today in new york = inf)

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Tags: kim kardashian, kourtney kardashian, the kardashians |

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There is Nothing Fake About This Kardashian Lingerie Ad

By author March 14, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

Let’s pretend for a moment that it’s not at all creepy for three sisters (even if one’s only half-related) to pose seductively in lingerie together and take a look at the composition here. If you think there’s nothing deceptive going on, let me clarify how a professional photographer goes about removing half of a person’s mass from a picture. First, he sets up at least fifty yards away and racks until he’s just barely in focus. Then he reassesses, has his assistant bring over a bucket of scotch and fires the rest of the crew because their salaries are now needed for a photoshop editor. Don’t believe me?

Here’s Khloe in December looking to be in identical shape as the person in the ad.