What would Mark Suckaturd’s Facebook reaction emoji be to the news that his company is showing its first signs of weakness virtually since he founded it in 2004? Maybe a cute little face with a tear? Maybe a... READ MORE

  Sometimes I wonder why someone like Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg – who could live out the rest of his life in extreme luxury without ever lifting a finger or opening his trap again – continues to take on... READ MORE

Mark Zuckerberg could blame a shit ton of his social errors on Asperger's. And he probably should. 

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There's nothing worse than rich cuckolds pretending they're one of the guys. You wouldn't let Judd Apatow or Chris Martin into your weekly Hold 'Em game.

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There are only two types of billionaires received favorably by the masses. The eccentric sports team owners who bring home trophies and Warren Buffett. Bill Gates has saved millions of lives in Africa, but hasn't put out a decent... READ MORE

It's easier for super rich people to be aggressive assholes 24x7. Secretly, everybody assumes you are. It's almost impossible to win with a gee-golly everyman front. Everyone will use it against you when you start suing tribal property owners... READ MORE

When you're worth fifty billion, consider hiring a professional give your material a once over before taking the stage. Zuckerberg did a selfie-promo for Jarvis, the new A.I. technology from Facebook that will speak extremely eloquently while secretly selling... READ MORE

If you remember watching The Social Network, Zuckerberg was the Harvard nerd who stole his friend's algorithm and the app idea of some WASPy twins on campus and promptly invented TheFacebook. Peter Thiel was the Aspy not yet Gawker... READ MORE

Mark Zuckerberg came under fire from a Norwegian newspaper for deleting a Facebook posted article of the Seven Photographs That Changed the History of Warfare. The article contained that iconic photo of the nine-year old naked local girl running... READ MORE

If there's one thing Mark Zuckerberg can't abide, it's inquisitive neighbors catching him masturbating to the porn stripped off his social media apps so there's more server space for Islamic jihadi communiques. READ MORE