TONY SCOTT – had his suicide filmed by several people who are trying to sell the footage. Inspiring “I Believe I Can Fly” song, not included. (guardian)

JOHNNY DEPP – is being offered $95 million to star in ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean 5′, because ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean 4′ made $1.04 billion. Clearly Lindsay hasn’t figured out that these are about a bisexual drunk who steals or else she would have sued by now. (the sun)

MICHAEL J. FOX – will return to NBC in a sitcom guaranteed to air at least one full season of 22 episodes, even though it hasn’t filmed a pilot yet and NBC hasn’t seen any footage. It’s a very shaky deal, so to speak. (vulture)

RYAN LOCHTE – is in a “three-way tie” to become the next Bachelor on ABC. When things started he was actually the leader, but the other two guys are French and he let them catch up because he’s an asshole. (e!)

BROOKE HOGAN – has a “I’d rather go naked…” ad for the reprehensible PETA, and you can actually see her boob in this. Are they implying I shouldn’t want Brooke Hogan locked in a cage? Because they are way way off in that assumption. (direct link to the NSFW picture here)