Russell Crowes ‘Noah’ will beat your ass

By brendon October 18, 2012 @ 1:05 PM

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Just 3 days after his divorce was announced, Russell Crowe got back to work starring in ‘Noah‘, which is filming in New York for some reason. It’s directed by the great Darren Aronofsky, so don’t expect a traditional take on the character. The new, cool Noah will look less like John Huston, and more like an Eastern European strongman in one of those contests where they throw beer kegs in the air and see who can carry a refrigerator the farthest.

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Russell Crowe is jolly

By brendon October 11, 2012 @ 2:53 PM

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Russell Crowe left his hotel in New York today to take a ride on his bike, so if you see him, flag him down and ask if your kid can get a picture with Santa, and ask him to say “Ho, Ho, Ho.” There are two things you can always count on with Russell Crowe; he loves meeting the public and he loves a good joke, especially at his expense. Trust me, it’ll go great.

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its Russell Crowe in Superman

By brendon October 06, 2011 @ 12:35 PM

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The Daily Mail has the first pictures of Russell Crowe playing Supermans dad, or at least smoking cigarettes in Supermans dad costume. As you can see they have him with the S on his chest, which apparently is not an S but the family crest which is why Superman wears it later, though to be honest that explanation seems like bullshit. I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure I know what an S looks like.

Friday headlines, with female empowerment

By brendon June 24, 2011 @ 3:14 PM

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KATY PERRY – will tie Michael Jacksons record if her 5th single off ‘Teenage Dream’ goes to number 1 like the other 4 have. And also if she gets two dozen little boys drunk and blows them. (mtv)

CARS 2 – is the worst reviewed Pixar movie ever, and not coincidentally they’ve now unveiled the characters for ‘Brave’, their first movie with a female protagonist. So I guess it’s about girl problems, like when there are no tampons in the ladies room. (joblo)

THE SUPERMAN REBOOT – will have Julia Ormond joining Russell Crowe as Supermans parents on Krypton before it explodes. Because this will tell the Superman origin story. Yet again. Otherwise no one would know what was going on. “There’s a new director now, so naturally I assumed the character would be completely different,” audiences will no doubt say to one another. “By showing me what I already know and saw in two other movies, I’m now reassured that Superman is still exactly the same as always. And it was great. I enjoy watching the same story over and over and over again. I’m like a fucking toddler.” (deadline)

MEN IN BLACK 3 – will cost $215 million, mostly because Will Smith is a pain in the ass. (the wrap)

JERSEY SHORE – will have an all new cast next year. Either that or they won’t, because MTV is denying these reports. As if they could ever find 8 more drunk Italians in New Jersey. (hollywood reporter)

PETER FALK – died “peacefully at his Beverly Hills home” last night at the age of 83, according to his family. But maybe their story comes unraveled if the detective says there’s “Just one more thing…” right before leaving. It can’t hurt to try. (ew)

PAZ DE LA HUERTA – walked around NYC on the phone. Presumably with someone asking what her tits felt like. (inf)

Russell Crowe: “circumcision is barbaric and stupid”

By brendon June 10, 2011 @ 12:44 PM

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Most celebrities and politicians only use twitter to troll for strange pussy, but Russell Crowe apparently uses his to talk about penises. More specifically, babys penises and their foreskin, and how they’re perfect just the way they are (his words, not mine). Or at least that’s what he was doing last night when he went on a rant about circumcision.

– “Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?”
– “Is it real that God requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.”
– “I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats, but stop cutting your babies.”
– “I will always stand for the perfection of babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires.”
– “Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and f**k off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.”

He’s since taken those down, and this morning he posted the tweet in the headline and a few others as sort of an apology. As well he should. Not because it was offensive but because I watch lots of porn and it freaks me out when a girl has to put an uncircumcised penis in her mouth. I just wanted to relax and watch a young Asian girl swallow after getting nailed in the ass, but all of a sudden some guy and his mummy cock show up and turn this into something weird and unseemly.

russell crowe is being all russell crowey again

By brendon May 14, 2010 @ 11:00 AM

Russell Crowe was doing an interview with BBC radio yesterday to promote ‘Robin Hood’, when the host made the comment that Crowes accent in the movie sounded more Irish than English.

In case you haven’t heard, Russell Crowe is passive little lamb who doesn’t mind being insulted. “C’est la vie”, that’s Crowes motto.

Crowe said: “You’ve got dead ears, mate – seriously dead ears if you think there’s an Irish accent.”
Lawson then asked Crowe if the accent was meant to be northern.
Crowe replied: “No I was going for an Italian … missed it?”
He then walked out of the interview (and can) be heard muttering, “I don’t get the Irish thing by the way. I don’t get it at all.”

Well, I’d make fun of him but that Italian line was pretty good. Besides Crowe was Officer Bud White in ‘LA Confidential’. I don’t care what he does, that movie was awesome. Same with Ryan Phillippe and ‘The Way of the Gun’, or as it should be known, ‘The Greatest Movie Ever Made’. I don’t care who he’s sleeping with. He could bang my wife on our wedding day and I’d squeal, “OMG, Mr. Parker is banging my wife!!!”