COLDPLAY - announced today that their next record is called ‘Mylo Xyloto’. Which I believe is Latin for “Homo Music”. (coldplay.com)

ALEC BALDWIN - will host SNL for the 16th time during the season premiere on September 24th. Radiohead will be the musical guest. SNL has now been on the air for 37 years, which is astounding because if I were to make a list of things to do on a Saturday night, watching that joyless piece of shit wouldn’t crack the top hundred, even well behind things like “go to an observatory”, “wait for the zoo to open”, “stable my scrotum to things” and “sit perfectly still”. (yahoo)

ALEC BALDWIN - announced that he will not run for mayor of New York in 2013, but might at some point. I’ll try to to have a more comprehensive list of people who aren’t running for mayor on Monday. (ny times)

JANI LANE - died in a Woodland Hills Comfort Inn yesterday at the age of 47. The former Warrant lead singer was found with a half empty bottle of vodka and a yet unidentified bottle of prescription pills. Hopefully whoever found him thought to put him face down in a cherry pie before calling 911. Because hey, life can be funny sometimes. (msnbc)

DIANNA AGRON - was on the set of ‘Glee’ yesterday with sexy new pink hair. What a utopia this world would be if more hot girls followed Diannas lead and dyed their hair slutty colors. (pcn)