news anchor Lisa Dutton is inappropiate

I can't tell what anyone is saying because this is either from Canada or Minnesota, but morning news anchor Lisa Dutton was telling some story about something, based on her accent I assume it involved some combination of mooses and beer, but then just did the universal sign for blowjob for about 10 seconds. So in hindsight hopefully the story was about beer.

read more
Wednesday Afternoon Headlines

ANGELINA JOLIE - might be pregnant again, meaning she and Brad Pitt will soon have their seventh child. To be honest I'm not even sure if that's what the story said, it just seems like something they would do. (hollywood life) BEYONCE - lip-synched yesterday at the inauguration for President Obama, but her 'Destinys Child' bandmate Michelle Williams was quick to defend her because of the crowd, possible echoes, and...

read more
its the first interactive TV cop car chase

This is what I was hoping 3D TV would be more like, instead of just people lunging at the screen with a plastic knife in their hand. source = gawker

read more
the baby stealing eagle video is fake

An 3D animation and digital design school in Montreal released a statement yesterday saying that the awesome video of an eagle trying to eat a baby at a park was made by three of their students as part of a class project. Which sucks because I love that video, it was like having pterodactyls again. And that eagle deserved a lot of credit for going after a baby like that. Fortune favors the bold, my friends!

read more
eagles are majestic, will steal your children

The really amazing thing about this video from a park in Montreal of an eagle trying to grab a kid to eat is that the kid was a student at that school in Connecticut, and his parents moved to Canada this weekend because they thought it was safer. Actually I just made that up just now, so it might not be true, but I hope it is because HOLY SHIT that would be incredible!

read more
the Olsen Twins are selling a $55,000 backpack

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are selling 12 backpacks, made of crocodile skin and encrusted with prescription pills (fun fact: Mary Kate was dating Heath Ledger when he overdosed on prescription pills in 2008), as part of their clothing and accessory label named The Row, and they're selling them for $55,000. Each. Which is at least ten times what I would pay for the actual Olsen Twins. For 55 grand, one of the pills...

read more
the internets most popular uppercut has arrived

If you're a teenage girl, and there's a video of a grown man shuffling over to you like Fred Sanford then landing an uppercut after the most dramatic windup outside of a Bugs Bunny cartoon, and the reaction to it is almost universal applause, I think it's safe to say you're kind of a cunt. (note: rated t for teens due to adult language and a girl getting punched in her fucking face. oh and i put a gif of this on...

read more
the guy who was eaten by a zombie is awake!

The homeless man who had his face chewed off in the Miami Zombie attack last month got up and walked around for the first time today, and I'm gonna level with you; the headline picture has been altered. I used a computer and changed it. He doesn't really look like that (he looks like this, and it's graphic and awful and disturbing). But he is recovering, and doctors described him as "awake and alert", though if any of...

read more
Disney is either racist or sarcastic

Disneys Dig-n-Dips candy has a picture of the black princess from whatever movie that was on the watermelon side, and Sleeping Beauty on the vanilla flavored side, and so needless to say they're in trouble now. And rightfully so. What Disney should do is put the black princess on some real watermelon so our kids can have a nutritious snack for once. Or am I misunderstanding the point to this? (source = gawker)

read more
this bride has a nice ass

The specifics of this video are explained only in a baffling squiggly language, but from what I can tell, the bride tripped, ripped her dress which fell off, then ran away while I stared at her very nice legs and ass. And yet the embarrassing part is still that she would walk down the aisle to 'Bitter Sweet Symphony'.

read more
Blake Griffin is a bad man

If you haven't seen the dunk Blake Griffin punched on Kendrick Perkins last night, you really should (and see it full size). It's incredible, and this may be the only time Kim Kardashian won't come up in a story about a black athletes balls in someones face.

read more
the Dutch have opened the fourth seal

Scientists in Holland have created a new strain of the flu virus, specifically engineered to spread easily and quickly and so lethal it could kill half the planet, and now they want to publish a paper saying how they did it. And why not? You can never have too many apocalyptic viruses, I say. (source = science insider and zme)

read more
prepare for war!

I always suspected those god damn octopuses were working on stuff like this, trying to walk on land so they can come get us. These people should have stomped on this thing, then shook their fists and shouted at the ocean to let the octopus army know whats up. "This is what you get when you come in our world, fuckers!" (source = mentality magazine)

read more
wait, this is real?

There's a trend in advertising lately where we're supposed to think the photogenic, well-dressed people in the commercial are real people who don't know they're in a commercial. And they all look like shit and not spontaneous at all and I assumed the one for Chevy where a guys sons track down his old Impala was another one of those but apparently it's not. Apparently it's true. So good job commercials. You've trained...

read more
what the hell

A new book called ‘Stuck Up!' contains hundreds of x-rays showing weird things people have gotten stuck up their ass, including a Buzz Lightyear, an iPhone, a Barbie, a cassette type, reading glasses, baby shoes and extension chords. And that's just the Richard Gere chapter. (image source = pacific coast) [gallery id="7319"]

read more