morning headlines

MICHAEL VICK – will have a reality show on BET to chronicle his life since being released from prison. It will be “serious and somber” and “revisit the Virginia property where he ran and financed a dogfighting ring.” This show sounds fun. I like shows where, after they’re over, I sit in my bath tub hugging my knees and crying. (la times)

DINA LOHAN – has a new line of shoes, called Shoe-Han. “Lo” and “shoe” don’t rhyme of course, but when you have a name people associate with drunken whores and hastily thrown together money grabs, you’d be wise to mention it on your product. (page six)

TINA FEY – will bring back her Salin Palin impression now that Palin has written a book, giving Fey all new material to not be funny with. (ny daily news)

SOPHIE READE – won Big Brother 10 in the UK, and yesterday hosted the opening of a new Ann Summers store. I don’t know what this is, but considering she’s in a bra strong enough to contain her massive tits, I assume Anne Summers is some kind of weapons grade lingerie store. (21 more here. hq jump here. source = getty and wenn)