thursday afternoon headlines

BRITNEY SPEARS and HALLE BERRY – are just two of the big names who endorse perfumes filled with a toxic combination of chemicals that may cause sperm damage and cancer among other things. I don’t know what the other things are, but since the first two things extinguish your blood line and then murder you, they’re probably pretty irrelevant. (rwg)

LINDSAY LOHAN – won’t be one of the big stars at this years Cannes film festival because no one will sponsor her trip and she’s too broke to pay for it herself. If I were a porn producer with a bunch of coke in France, I’d be fedex’ing out plane tickets immediately. (page six)

GIRLS WRITING – wwtdd on themselves is my new favorite sport. In this case it’s Erica, who wants everyone to vote for her in a Anime Festival’s Maid Cafe Contest. And I know what you’re thinking. Yes. Those 5 words are almost completely unrelated. I know. But I read that email like 10 times, I swear to God that’s what it said. (youtube)

SHAUNA SAND and TAYLOR WANE – hung out on South Beach in bikinis today, but it’s probably best for everyone if we agree to pretend that they didn’t. (inf daily)