thursday morning headlines

JULRI WATERS – is beautiful, short, Asian, has huge breasts, and parades around naked for Playboy. In other words she’s historys most perfect girl (NSFW pictures here). Easily manipulated, she asked me to mention that she and Julia Morse (direct link to their NSFW Playboy pics here and here) are in Sturgis for the bike rally, and at the Silverado casino today and tomorrow from 1-4 signing stuff. I’m gonna go at 4 when she’s tired and see if she’ll blindly sign a marriage license. (silverado, playboy)

JIMMY KIMMEL – was on his Twitter last night asking about his computer generated “Who To Follow” suggestions. Twitter is kind of a smartass, as it turns out. (twitpic)

OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – is having her home searched for listening devices so no one can secretly record her conversations. “She’s worried either Mel or the media has planted cameras or wiretapping devices.” The balls on this chick. The judge should throw out the case just for this. Then have the bailiff go punch her in the stomach. (tmz)

TWITTER – Follow me today and you’ll receive 10 free internets. (twitter)

SOFIA VERGARA – says Madonna looks like a freak. While not opposed to plastic surgery, she says some women go to far. “That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they’re fooling? It doesn’t make them look young. You end up looking like a freak.” Keep in mind Madonnas arms look like this. She looks like an old tree. (us)