Charlie Sheen has magic in his fingertips

By brendon June 29, 2012 @ 8:44 AM








During Charlie Sheens meltdown last year, the most frequent target of his public abuse was Chuck Lorre, the creator of ‘Two And A Half Men’.

Basically, Sheen thought Lorre was an idiot and that the show would be better if everyone would just listen to him. He said, “I’m dealing with fools and trolls,” and “I got magic and poetry in my fingertips,” and “C’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.”(1)

Well now Sheen has ‘Anger Management’. He helped create it, he’s the producer, and the opening scene in last nights premiere showed him at the peak of his creative power:

“Management” opens on a tight shot of Charlie on an angry rant … saying, “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME, I QUIT!!”(2)
“You want to replace me with some other guy? Go ahead! It won’t be the same! You think I’m losing! I’m not! I’m … anyway, you get the idea.”
When the camera pulls out, it reveals Charlie is only taking out his anger on an inflatable punching bag.

Ahhh. Do you get it? The whole time you assumed he was in Chuck Lorres office, beating him to death, and the camera would pull back and he’d be covered in blood and begging for mercy. It’s a classic comedy bit (‘The Cosby Show’ and ‘Seinfeld’ also opened with the lead character in an anti-Semitic rage) but it was all a trick; Charlie fooled us with his comedy!

Hopefully you didn’t miss it on account of being either Chuck Lorre (and you were pouting) or a girl that used to date Charlie Sheen (and that POV brought back bad memories of him getting drunk and giving you a few Irish kisses so you spent last night hugging your knees and rocking back and forth in the bathtub).

(1) – That’s a reference to ‘Platoon’ of course, which won the Academy Award in 1986. Emilio Estevez, Kyle MacLachlan, and Keanu Reeves all turned down the role that Sheen eventually played, but Oliver Stones first choice was Johnny Depp. Unfortunately the studio considered Depp too young for the lead, and now we have to hear about Sheen winning Best Picture all by himself.

(2) – This is ironic because according to Sheen, only “pussies” quit.

wwtdd

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Honkey Dong 06/29/2012 11:48

    This is not the pussy I was looking for.

  2. avatar
    Rok 06/29/2012 12:42

    I used to have magic in my fingertips, back when I had some pussy to work with.

  3. avatar
    Mr. Poop 06/29/2012 12:44

    You know what, Rok?

    I’m already tired of your whining about having no hole to bang.

    Man up, and go run down some gutter skank like the rest of us for fuck’s sake.

  4. avatar
    Honkey Dong 06/29/2012 12:49

    Yeah, Rok. Either that, or join Scientology.

  5. avatar
    Rok 06/29/2012 13:31

    I don’t need your pity.

  6. avatar
    Observer 06/29/2012 15:45

    Rok…..

    …why not just call P3eeper….and explain it was all a mistake…….

    …I’m pretty sure you have his number…

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