Octomom Better Than Angelina Jolie

I laugh when people claim Octomom hit rock bottom by doing porn to pay the rent. She has so much much farther to fall. You have no idea. But no matter how she struggles like an one-flipper tortoise as she sinks to the ocean bottom, won’t she always be better than Angelina Jolie? She’s born fourteen kids from her own hungry uterus while Angelina buys kids from infant bazaars in Third World nations. Sure Octomom is overpopulating the planet with kids she couldn’t care for even if she wasn’t half-mad and had no appreciable job skills. But she’s never had sex with Billy Bob Thornton and worn his blood in a necklace, she never made me waste $8 on Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, and, best of all, Octomom doesn’t use her Beverly Hills High School degree to make sweeping political pronouncements.

It always comes down to the car ride test. I wouldn’t want to road trip with either, but I bet if you told Octomom to STFU, she’d actually do it.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, In Touch Weekly

Here’s Octomom in the trailer for her Home Alone porn….