Snooki’s Dream Home Is Going To Be So Big

Now that she and her boyfriend, Jionni LaValle, are expecting their second child, it’s time for Snooki to have a proper home for her growing family. She posted this photo of her under-construction dream home to Instagram, and just look at all the space that they’ll have to chase the children around at night before putting them to bed, and reading a bedtime story as a family. “Once upon a time,” Snooki will say with a motherly smile, “MTV gave us a shitload of money to behave like total assholes and embarrass not only ourselves, but an entire state, as we helped launch and promote the horrifying New Jersey culture of scumbags.” That money, she’d remind her beautiful children, was enough to buy their home, and they should continue to enjoy it as long as it lasts, because our guess is this fucking place will be foreclosed on by the time the paint above the guest bidet dries.