Scott Disick Was Poisoned! But Not Well Enough

Scott Disick was admitted to a hospital last month for being a pussy who can’t hold his liquor. Disick was out getting hammered when he told his paid extra friends he thought he was roofied. Its unclear if the hospital was Disick’s idea or some producer who thought the spectacle would be slightly more interesting than watching him cry and cut his legs with a spork. He was tested for drugs but it turns out someone just put more booze in his booze. Getting alcohol poisoning when your job is basically drinking either means you have serious brain damage or you found Leaving Las Vegas inspirational. Apparently Scott hasn’t had a drink since his hospital visit. Hopefully show producers return to the idea that his suicidal boozing is a story line with great traction and order him to start downing bottles of Old Grand-Dad until his kidneys fail. At some point, ratings are going to dip and somebody on that show’s going to need to die tragically. It’s not going to be someone with tits.

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