Snooki Got Married

While you weren’t caring, Snooki ornately married the first dude who didn’t ask to finish on her tits. He’s a good solid something or other who accepts the fact Snooki looks radically altered from when they first met. I can see dramatic plastic surgery having a positive effect on a relationship. Whether you’re married to a great looking woman or a reality TV box troll that reeks of agar, at some point you want to wake up to a different face. You could cheat, but that’s messy, and she’s your meal ticket. You’ve already got the same STDs, why expand your viral collage. Just hit up the doctor with his chisel and acid bath and ask him to make your chick a new face every eighteen months. It’s mostly a reductive art, but at some point you can start packing putty and hay into that burp space and build out again.

Photo Credit: Splash/FameFlynet