Lindsay Lohan Needs to Hire Better

Lindsay Lohan is a victim of free labor. Too many people around her for too many years offering free shit and services that have left her vulnerable to the harsh mechanics of the real world. For instance, a skilled Photoshop re-toucher is going to cost you a couple hundred bucks. You keep thinking entourage Chad who scores addies off Craigslist in any city can proficiently clone out inches on your waist, you’re going to end up with a Twitter photo fail. Lohan pulled this one shortly after even the legally blind noticed the staircase behind her cinched waist was slightly askance. The photo was a paid shill for whoever makes that corset that keeps the fuller figured ladies in Hollywood looking linear:

“Just received my waist trainer from @nowaistclique!! #LovingIt http://nowaistclique.com #majorsituation

Medical experts point out that these types of restrictive garments cut off oxygen flow to the heart and brain and can even lead to organ failure. Darwinians merely applauded.

Photo credit: Twitter/Lindsay Lohan