June 29, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
Hugh Hefner’s ex fake girlfriend and reality show whore Holly Madison wrote a superbly uninteresting tell all book about life in the Playboy Mansion and is now spilling the mundane beans to any shitty tabloid who will listen. Some of her major revelations are that Hefner once offered her drugs and that he is sometimes irritable. She didn’t mention being paid $1,000 a week plus free room and board on top of promotional appearance fees to pretend she was listening to him tell the same story about hanging with Dean Martin for the thirtieth time.
Americans understand Hugh Hefner is a pathetic dork so insecure in his sexuality he has to hire runaways to pretend they fuck him. We wrote him off a long time ago and have an app to screen potential dates for any trace of desperation that would lead them to live in his musty curtained herpes lair. Given Hefner is responsible for the minuscule amount of notoriety Madison has, many feel it uncouth to write a book attempting to slam him. Included is Hef’s son, Cooper Hefner, who as a young child drilled many holes in the drywall of his father’s house and watched him slap the headboard with a rolling pin while demanding the girls moan loudly:
“How does a person who is famous for being a gold digger paint themselves as a victim of a relationship they aggressively sought out for? Holly Madison, V. Stiviano, and a few other lovely ladies that lived in LA make a Justice League type group of wonderfully shitty people.”
They form like Voltron and your dad is the head. He probably wouldn’t be surrounded by so many shitty people if he wasn’t the grand marshal of their parade. Cooper makes some good points. Now back to the board room to stave off Playboy’s bankruptcy for another six months. We have Evil Angel now. Classy broads. I’ll give Madison a year.
Photo Credit: Twitter