Going to see Magic Mike doesn’t make you gay. Going to see Magic Mike and insisting it’ll make your girlfriend happy and you’ll get laid, that’s gay. The confident heterosexual male never insists. The Marlboro man never had to declare that he liked to end his ride on the range with a smoke and some pussy. Ask David Spade if he’s banged over two hundred models and he’ll laugh and call it a rumor. Then he’ll smell his fingers and remember them all, sorted by hair color and lawsuit. This is the age of gender fluidity. You can still be my friend, but I’m picking you last in paintball. Stereotyping is how I win trophies.
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