Amber Heard’s Last Movie Limping To The Finish Line

August 31, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

Rumor has it Amber Heard fucked Billy Bob Thornton on the set of a movie they filmed together, which would make sense because she’s an opportunistic whore without morals who was already fucking another weird old guy with bad tattoos who she wasn’t actually attracted to. It is called London Fields, a revealingly stupid pretentious bullshit title, and it’s about a clairvoyant (Heard) who befriends a terminally ill struggling writer (Thornton’s corpse) and there’s a murder twist involved. Spoiler Alert: This movie sucks ass and is insufferable fake arthouse trash, perhaps it will win several awards.

Its release has been delayed for over a year meaning even the firms promoting it understand how much it sucks, which is frightening because these are the people advertising Suicide Squad with a straight face. The director is also suing the producers for going behind his back to fix it, but rest assured he still lives in a really sweet house even though his IMDB page reveals he’s never done anything related to his own career. I wish my dad worked for Raytheon.

In a bizarre twist, Johnny Depp plays a supporting role in the movie, extending his streak of shitty movies to the mid teens. As Amber Heard has proven beyond any reasonable doubt that she’s a conniving gold digger, this may very well be her last film. If there’s one thing people in Hollywood don’t like, it’s people who talk. Especially when what they are saying is a calculated lie. That’s assuming she isn’t flat broke. She wanted to get her hands on that $7 million but Depp’s lawyers outsmarted her. It would be great if she started doing awful Nicolas Cage movies and people openly mocked her at the premiers held at 3 pm on a Tuesday in the valley. There is some redemption in understanding her swan song is a total piece of shit. I’ve never seen a gray pube but I’d rather eat a pound of them then make eye contact with Amber Heard, that memory doesn’t go away.  

Photo Credit: Instagram 


Tags: amber heard billy bob thornton johnny depp