Kim Kardashian Taking the Heat

Kim Kardashian remain in torment, agony, and a safe room made entirely of fudge and cum ripple while recovering from her Paris armed robbery. According to sources who are almost certainly Kim’s public relations team, Kardashian feels responsible for the marauders stealing her prized diamond ring because she was flaunting it so heartily on social media. By that logic, her tits and ass would have been taken first. But allow the poor woman the chance to pretend martyr herself. It’s her best side.

Realistically, you should be able to flaunt your wealth in public without being the subject of home invasion robberies. You should also be able fuck the hot nanny and your wife be okay with that because you’re a man and she gets headaches, but life rarely works out so neatly. Kardashian’s excessively opulent lifestyle is a good part of what garners her public affection. At least among the demographic not tugging one out to her while yelling the word, “bitch”. It’s no secret that she’s worth a shit ton of money and necessarily travels with millions of dollars of regal splendor. Snapchatting the Parisian hotel room location of the fat diamond ring was perhaps beyond the pale idiocy. Though Kardashian has set a high bar. I wouldn’t rush to judgement. Though keep in mind for future reference that Serbians have social media now.

Kim has announced no plans to replace the ring given to her by her frequently pegged husband. No mere re-gifting can ever replace the sentiment. Plus Kanye’s broke and the insurance payout is pretty fucking sweet. Parade magazine has turned the entire affair into a sweet public service remind not to share personal information on social media. Especially important to remember if you’re sharing vagina or five million dollar diamond photos. The rest of you could give out your home address and detailed vacation plans and you’re probably safe. There are only so many sophisticated ring of Baltic thieves to go around.