Snapchat Worth $24 Billion, Bella Thorne Snaps Her Pierced Nips to Explain Why

Snapchat is how every Generation Z citizen of this nation will consume content. Or not. It’s worth $24 billion dollars officially following it’s Initial Public Offering today. The company itself has never earned a cent. In fact, it’s lost a billion or so. That’s relevant in the hardware business. Less important in terms of where cosmetics and yeast infection advertisers will have to go to reach teen girls over the next decade. If you’re young douchey CEO Evan Spiegel, this is the night you ask Miranda Kerr for anal. It’s not a trap. It’s a test. Rectums self-lubricate for billionaires.

From the outsider’s perspective Snapchat is primarily a tool for young chicks to post pictures of their tits not so allowed on Facebook or Instagram. The outsiders are largely correct. What exactly are social functions for teenagers? Booze, weed, sex, talking shit about people, and music. At least that’s how I remember it. Now it’s on your phone where your parents can’t possibly find it. Simple genius. Kerr ass. This is why men invent things.