How can you call yourself a mother in Hollywood if you don’t have 1.0 children and an axe to grind against the patriarchy? If you don’t have the former, look up Mali baby merchants on Yelp. If you don’t have the latter, get your assistant to find you one.
Amanda Seyfried became a mom earlier this year. She quickly jumped into the breastfeeding mix, reminding moms that both nursing and bottles are beautiful, what’s not is judgement. The kind of maternal wisdom that can only come from being two months into your first child.
Seyfried was hardly done. She expressed her displeasure with a Chuck E. Cheese 30-second spot where a restaurant rep asks moms how to make that shit hole better for moms since they’re largely the ones making the four year old birthday party planning decisions. The moms want shit moms want. Thin crust pizza, free WiFi, jewelry, Rom-coms, and a pedicure. Only the last one sounds stupid. Chuck E. Cheese is a living diorama of the toilets of Central America where people gladly risk death to flee to America. Nothing could make it worse.
Seyfried apparently found the commercial demeaning to moms. She shared it with an “Oy” and a #slightlyoffensivecommercial. That hashtag may catch on only in that by super sensitive standards, every commercial is slightly offensive. Have you seen the Big Pharma CGI purple diarrhea character?
The ad is from 2015. Meaning, she’s either surfing for archival Chuck E. Cheese commercial content as a hobby, or some other mommy in the group sent it to her so they could virtually shake their heads together. Seyfried has 530,000 followers so her self-righteous shares are going to be noticed.
People have always been prone to being complaining bitches. The back of dad’s hand and a ‘shut the fuck up, Nancy’ was an effective countermeasure. That’s gone out of style. Replaced by collective support for the outraged. There upsides to a feminized society. Reversible belts come to mind. There are downsides. Like a new social contract where everybody’s least bit butt hurt must be seconded. Call it high emotional IQ to make it sound less annoying. We all know it when we see it. The whiners have won.
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