I always learned that you’re supposed to compliment someone before giving them constructive criticism, and then tack on another compliment at the end, though I can’t imagine I’ll be able to come up with a second one regarding these new pics of Lara Flynn Boyle. Here it goes. That’s a nice shirt. Take back the last decade and a half of your life. Your body looks like E.T.’s, and that was a fun movie.
Boyle doesn’t make a ton of public appearances these days – and I think we can all solve the puzzle as to why – but when she does, she really knows how to make a splash. The woman who helped cultivate almost surreal body standards in the late 90’s along with the likes of Calista Flockhart and any other miserable eighty-pound bag of bones and ambitions David E. Kelley could threaten into anorexia is now taking things to a whole new level of kookiness, and I really hope this is the new look. My coworker said that the Boyle in these pap pics looks like two children stacked together to sneak into the movies. She looks hilarious, and a few more chuckles in Hollywood would hardly be a bad thing.
We at the office have been staring at these pictures for far too long trying to understand exactly what’s happening, and after googling “Is Lara Flynn Boyle pregnant” and “Is Lara Flynn Boyle Mickey Rourke in a hat,” I’ve decided that maybe she has a distended stomach from malnutrition? Legitimately. If you’re reading this before seeing Tara Reid’s Big Bird legs, get ready for a shocker. You’ll actually think Reid is hot by comparison. Maybe we put that in the compliment pile for Boyle. You make Tara Reid look like a person.
Photo Credit: Backgrid