Mickey Rourke, Feeling Pretty

Actor turned drugs, booze, and pugilist, Mickey Rourke, was but one plastic surgery procedure away from feeling pretty. So he said after his latest nose job. It’s hard to precisely calculate how many times Rourke has been cut up intentionally in a Beverly Hills doctor’s office, twenty seems to be a decent bet. His hot wife from back in the days when he was only crazy, but didn’t look crazy yet, said he’d come home unexpectedly with surgical bandages on his face. There are some things you want to hide from your wife. Not necessarily cheek and brow lifts. 

Rourke is apparently sixty-five, or possibly three-hundred and eighty. There’s no way to know without a carbon dating. Senior citizen boxing and heroin are such a bad mix, nobody else has ever tried it. Rourke posted a photo of himself next to one of those surgeons who doesn’t give a shit about how mentally fucked up his paying patient is, declaring how much he loved his new nose:

Moments after “” nose surgery with Dr. Dhir. Now i am “”pretty again “:(lol)…one more to go  “”I don’t know what day it is don’t even realize operation is over.

Seems sober enough. Gas him and lets get down to tossing these jigsaw puzzle of a face around a few times. The superficial horror nothing compared to an elderly man writing ‘lol’ on Instagram.

For those not old enough to remember, Rourke was once a young, cool, greasy haired actor in Hollywood. Like a slightly less gay Johnny Depp. Wherever that guy went, he won’t be showing his face in this town again. He can’t. It’s in a medical waste container in a landfill. 

_{Photo credit: Getty Images}