I wonder how many people were waiting for Hugh Hefner to die so they could put chicks with dicks as centerfolds and throw a celebratory bash at his mansion without the obligation of inviting the man himself. An invitation-only party at the Playboy mansion is going down this weekend. But if you’re some weird stalker with a decent amount of money in the bank you can buy your way in. Basically whoever the decision maker is for Hugh’s estate is doing everything Hef would have never signed off on if he was alive. Playboy has a special place in my heart and I feel bad for Hef. All those days during my youth when I would take sexual advantage of a freshly laundered sock because according to feminist silence, even from an inanimate object, doesn’t imply consent. If there’s an afterlife Hef is getting the last laugh. Getting to screw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe for all eternity doesn’t sound like a bad deal. You know, if that’s how things after you die work when you’re buried next to them.
The event’s been labeled a celebration of life, and it’s set for Sunday from 10am to 2pm. Remember, Sunday Funday was always a big tradition for Hef back in his partying days, so it’s a fitting send off.
Leave it to ticket scalpers to key in on that … because tickets have started popping up online. The highest price we found was $3500 a pop. No word on who got real deal invitations, but we’re told it’s supposed to be mostly close friends and family. Plus whoever throws down thousands on the black market.
People are weird. Aside from door fees from crashing parties of colleges you don’t actively attend what kind of loser pays money to show up at a party they weren’t invited to. Reevaluate your existence if you’re willing to purchase tickets to a Playboy mansion day party from StubHub. Everyone else there will be friends and family and you’ll just be “that guy.” I hope by the 30th time you hear “who is he” whispered to another attendee you muster up the courage to Anna Nicole Smith yourself in the bathroom.