Matt Damon Wants Us To Focus More On The Non-Rapists, Like Himself

To say that a lot of media attention recently has gone towards men who have whipped out their penises and masturbated into potted plants in front of women is an understatement, and now our bloated savior Matt Damon is here to put an end to all the nonsense. Damon is one of the good guys and of course was totally unaware of all the molestation that was happening on his face, and yesterday opened up to Business Insider about the unsung heroes in this whole ordeal: The exemplary, stand-up fellas. Like, for example, off the top of his head, himself. The Insider headline “Matt Damon says we aren’t talking enough about all the men in Hollywood who aren’t sexual predators” has got to have been written by someone who despises Damon:

We’re in this watershed moment, and it’s great, but I think one thing that’s not being talked about is there are a whole s–tload of guys – the preponderance of men I’ve worked with – who don’t do this kind of thing and whose lives aren’t going to be affected. If I have to sign a sexual-harassment thing, I don’t care, I’ll sign it. I would have signed it before. I don’t do that, and most of the people I know don’t do that.

The lady doth protest to the point where it’s getting ridiculous. Damon’s epitaph will read “I don’t rape women and don’t know anyone who has.” And then “Buy The Great Wall on Blu-ray.” He continues about how he wouldn’t act in a movie alongside someone accused of sexual misconduct, unless he would:

That always went into my thinking. I mean, I wouldn’t want to work with somebody who – life’s too short for that. But the question of if somebody had allegations against them, you know, it would be a case-by-case basis. You go, ‘What’s the story here?’

I don’t necessarily think that Damon was personally abusing well-intentioned hotel bathrobes over the course of the 90’s and 2000’s, but I do think his need to interject himself into this conversation every four seconds is, if nothing else, pretty soul-sucking and pathetic. Or just an outright admittance that he was sugar daddy Weinstein’s official fluffer. 

^{Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News}