Meghan Markle Cleared to Sell Crap Out of The Palace

January 4, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Once Meghan Markle officially enters the royal family, she’ll likely discontinue her mediocre TV acting, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be turning her newfound fame into some kind of cash grab. The first sort of black royal has been cleared by people that make stupid announcements in Britain to operate a beauty business after she becomes Mrs. Prince Harry.

There were reports earlier this week that Markle was planning on partnering up with Victoria Beckham to create a bio-botox line, though that rumor was immediately denied by all parties. Also, nobody could figure out what the hell bio-botox meant, though North Korea called with interest.

While the big royals would never openly run an makeup business out of Buckingham for fear or looking opportunistic and otherwise capitalistic, there’s no reason why the divorced chick marrying the ginger who will never see the throne shouldn’t be looking to build an independent income stream. She’s not necessarily tied to the Windsor family fortune and you never know when the Muslim majority in Britain might take away your large annual allowance and castles. Not to mention, your head.

Royals are merely another source of inanely anointed celebrities. Everybody’s turning a buck on the principle that money flows from dumber chicks to smarter chicks. The “Princess” title is a tremendous 1:00am infomercial hook. In a world where Jessica Simpson sells a billion dollars of lifestyle merch and Paris Hilton the same amount of signature fragrance, who’s to deny some chick forced to have sex with a regal inbred the right to move eyeliner.

Photo credit: Instagram / Pacific Coast News

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