Meghan Markle Cleared to Sell Crap Out of The Palace

January 4, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The first sort of black royal has been cleared by people that make stupid announcements in Britain to operate a beauty business after she becomes Mrs. Prince Harry. 


Meghan Markle Princess Michael Racist Brooch-Gate 2017

December 22, 2017 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

People are bracing for Markle to be outraged by Michael’s brooch, but judging by Michael’s face, she’s one-hundred-and-four-years-old, and probably won’t be attending next year’s lunch. Now that Markle is on her way to becoming a Royal she’s going to have to get used to keeping her opinions to herself and living like a braindead Stepford Wife.


Brits Pissed At Meghan Markle’s Skank Dress In Olan Mills Engagement Portraits

December 22, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

If watching The Crown has taught us anything it’s that Matt Smith is as ugly as damn sin and that the success of the Royal Family hinges on their image as the standard of class, elegance, and timelessness. And since nothing is classier or more elegant or more timeless than a D-list actress best known for her role on a USA Network original series, Brits were thrilled about Prince Harry’s decision to marry old actress Meghan Markle. Now they’re even more thrilled that Markle wore a see-through slut Kohl’s prom gown for the official engagement portraits released on Twitter by Kensington Palace. That last one was sarcasm. Actually so was the thing before that. Markle is garbage. 


America Not Buying This Royal Wedding Hype

November 29, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Prince Harry isn’t really a Prince. He’s sixth in line to the idiotic throne of a country that is equal parts stuck in the past and mired in Islamist PC surrender.


Priyanka Chopra Feminist Who Likes Boys For Meghan Markle

September 11, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Priyanka Chopra is one of those celebrities who I see in the headlines but don’t actually click on. Mostly because I have no idea who she is. A bangable actress who advocates for convenient causes? Rare breed. Chopra found an opportunity to piss her claim all over another penis-shaped hydrant in Celeb Fashionable Feminist Park by defending Prince Harry’s girlfriend Meghan Markle from a harrowing experience with Vanity Fair.


Prince Harry Rises To His Chick’s Defense

November 8, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Prince Harry became the five-thousandth famous person in history to deliver a pointless speech to the media about leaving his family and girlfriend alone. In particular, Harry seems rather miffed by sexist, racist, and overly personal Internet article comments about Meghan Markle. He went straight after social media trolls. So, good luck with that. Quit Twitter?


Prince Harry Shtupping an American of Color

November 3, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The British royal watching world is a flutter because that’s their static state. Lots of fucking fluttering. More so now that Prince Harry is dating an American, who also happens to be half-black, and also happens to be divorced.