Women manically twirling in front of the camera makes up an increasingly large percentage of the Internet, and while no one, and I do mean no one, will look as unhinged as Britney Spears doing her Kohl’s fashion shows, Bella Thorne is a worthy runner-up in this new Instagram video. Before we get to her predator boyfriend cameraman, I have to say something that I know I’ll be answering to at the Pearly Gates – Bella Thorne doesn’t look like a complete fleabag here. Maybe she’s just worn me down, or maybe it’s because she’s not drinking her own bathtub water, but she’s almost kind of physically attractive. In that botched coke whore starlet kind of way.
If Britney Spears is a spinning carefree trailer trash Zoloft egg in her videos, then Thorne is something darker and more precarious here. We’ll assign her, Roxanol. The twenty-year-old Thorne is dating a thirty-year-old singer named Mod Sun, and in addition to looking like Buffalo Bill three days into Burning Man, he also sounds like he’s about to turn Thorne into a lampshade in the video. Mod all but squirts his lotion all over Thorne’s body as he commands her around the dressing room in a voice so creepy you may have your first #MeToo moment just listening. And after your computer screen encounters Thorne’s tongue at the end of the clip, it might just have its first #MeToo moment as well. And its first case of herpes.
Photo Credit: Instagram