Seeing fifty-year-old testicle sac head Celine Dion really got me thinking about this crazy thing we call life, and about at exactly what point our bodies implode on themselves. My coworkers and I truly think that Dion lied... READ MORE

  Body shaming is just a fancy term for bullying, and if you’ll recall, people bully because they’re dead on the inside. Remember how the bullies in elementary school always had the unexplained bruises and moms who smoked cigarettes... READ MORE

Over the weekend it was learned that Kate Upton would be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue for the second year in a row after a cellphone copy of the cover showed up online. But now... READ MORE

As long as ‘Spring Breakers’ keeps Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens in bikinis, the movie could be about them pointing at my penis and laughing and I’d still be fine with it. I’d still see it 5 times. Hell... READ MORE

Sophie Turner looked a little gloomy yesterday on the beach in Sydney, maybe because you can’t walk 10 feet in Australia without tripping over some physically perfect sex machine. Here she gets tons of attention but down there, I... READ MORE

Oh okay. So I guess I’m supposed to think that, a week after we broke up, Italian-Venezuelan model Aida Yespica just happened to be on Miami beach in a bikini in front of a bunch of photographers. Uh-huh. Yeah,... READ MORE

As you may have heard by now, Lindsay Lohan is an immature and selfish cunt who still deludes herself into thinking she’s a respected actress. The NY Times said her attitude got even worse on the set of ‘the... READ MORE

All the picture agency said is that Nabilla Benattia is a French reality star who was filming her show on Miami beach yesterday. Intrigued to learn more, I went on wiki and it said she’s an interstellar cloud of... READ MORE

Kate Upton and Mark Sanchez only dated for about 20 minutes, and that was almost a year ago, but that didn’t stop her from mocking him on twitter last night during the BCS Championship game because women are black... READ MORE

That first picture of Jessica Alba bent over in a bikini in Miami is from 2007, you see it all the time, it’s one of the most famous pictures on the internet and has more sentimental value to me... READ MORE