Bria Murphy Is a Good Celebrity Daughter

September 25, 2014 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Don’t get arrested, don’t get fat, and tell everybody at parties that you’re going to be a model or start your own clothing line or something pro forma nobody ever asks a followup about. That’s really all you need to do as a celebrity daughter. For that you get a sweet allowance, a cool condo, […]

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Paige Butcher Shaming Her Future Stepdaughters Once Again

April 8, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Usually when your dad takes up with a hot young replacement for your mom, you can act out and start smoking cloves and underaged drinking and having sex with dudes who ride rice burners and have face tattoos. But what do you do when you’re already twenty and he replaces your mom with some white […]

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Bria Murphy in A Bikini Playing Volleyball

April 2, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’m glad my dad wasn’t famous or wealthy or very accurate with his punches. It seems like a burden to be a celebrity kid. If you’re Eddie Murphy’s kid, everybody’s wondering aloud when you’re going to become super famous for ten years then disappear for the next twenty. But Bria Murphy has figured out a […]

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Eddie Murphy’s Daughters Have Talent Too

February 8, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Any man who has the privilege to make babies with models knows the obvious upside, outside of the procreative sex with an amazing looking woman who likely mumbles, is having a bunch of kids who are much better looking than you. Eddie Murphy’s daughters are pretty hot. I think they’re both of age so I […]

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Paige Butcher And Bria Murphy In Bikinis

June 14, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You’re not my new mom! That’s right, Bria. I’m taller, skinnier, and hotter than your mom. I wear my bikini slung so low that your daddy can see my pelvic bones pointing right to the place where he’s going to make your replacements. Also, he told me the other night he never really loved you. […]

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Bria and Shayne Murphy In Bikinis

June 12, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I think the Chinese might have it right. Having daughters seems like an enormous pain in the ass. I suppose the tea parties are a blast, but when they grow up to be running around in bikinis in front of dudes then you have to go kill people you barely know for no good reason. […]

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