Jared Leto Is Probably 30 Seconds Away From Nearby Bus Stop

April 10, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

They’re smug, pretentious, and utilize penny-farthings as their main source of transportation. They infest inner city areas areas like cockroaches, forcing bodegas out in order to open up overpriced fair trade coffee shops. They wear lumberjack uniforms with the... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz Has A Homeless Woman To Thank

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Thank good for poverty. Cameron Diaz has the honesty of some woman down on her luck and without permanent residence to thank for the return of her wallet. 

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Cameron Diaz Surrenders

January 6, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Cameron Diaz married Benji Madden in a super private ceremony out by the second dumpster behind The Tavern in Brentwood. Given that these two have fucked the crap out of most of Hollywood the past fifteen years, they wanted... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz Gives Up And Gets Engaged To The Chubby Twin From Good Charlotte

December 23, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It was supposedly very romantic. Benji Madden called Cameron Diaz’s mom and reminded her that her daughter had been forever ruined by A-Rod’s PED encrusted cock. He then asked permission to make Cameron his next super squeeze. When your... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz In Her Underwear

September 18, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Cameron Diaz used to be good looking and act shy and modest and pretend she wasn’t. Now she and her publicity team are pushing really hard to make you believe she’s still that same girl. Even in German, it’s... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz Bikini Mismatch, That’s Crazy

July 24, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Cameron Diaz has to suffer through lots of shit she wouldn’t have to if she was a man. People give her grief about not wanting kids. They criticize her body for being paunchy yet masculine. They question her choice... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz Didn’t Sit on Drew Barrymore’s Face And Shit Around The Web

July 15, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

After Cameron Diaz made some publicity reference to having been with a woman before, rumors started flying that the woman she had bumped uglies with was Drew Barrymore. Not only does Diaz say she never munched Drew’s sloppy hippy... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz In A Bikini

July 8, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

After dating Bradley Cooper, Alex Rodriguez, Sean Combs, and reports of boning billionaire Elon Musk, Cameron took a good look in the mirror and saw what we all saw, it’s time to start dating the less successful Madden brother.... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz Don’t Need No Stinking Babies

July 7, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In this month’s Esquire magazine, Cameron Diaz announced for the tenth time that she doesn’t want to be a mom and instantly became the weeping Jesus on the gas station wall for millions of childless by choice women. These... READ MORE